Lookie Lookie! It's the madman himself! Live from Recovery!

Alrighty, I found the computer lab. Hmm, this was unexpected, but after a visit from a very jolly activities coordinator who stopped by to drop off a calendar (yeah, they have stuff to do here for the older folks) and check on my interests. So during this conversation, I mentioned where I work and what I did (after an interesting question about his VCR problem - computer tech = vcr tech? in his mind), he told me about this computer lab they have for the residents. Not much of one though, only a Dell P3, a dell P4, and a power Mac (old). Luckily it didn't take me long to get past content advisor and install Netscape which allows me to have free reign over the internet. So I fired up Navigator, got some WBER playing for some background music and decided to do an update.

For those that didn't know, I was in the hospital last week and the surgery went PERFECT! I woke up with my toes pointing in the same direction and legs of equal length!!!! Fan-freaking-tastic!! Now, let me tell you about how much better a Morphine drip will do you once you learn how to use it. Because this sumbitch HURTS the first couple of days until you get used to it, then the pain goes away. Of course, Mr. Mo hanging around was fun too, I went through of those babies! In fact I'm pretty sure Mr. Bob & Ms. Carrie stopped by, but I have not idea what I might have said to them. Just as they where leaving, my "manager who prefers not to be named in the blog" stopped by as they were wheeling me off to my first physical therapy. I was pretty much whacked out of my skull. Mind you, Mr Mo don't get you flying, he just makes you reeeeaaaalllllyyy sleepy. If you stopped by thanks because it does mean alot!

So now I got transferred over to Monroe Community Hospital where I'm doing my recevery. This is like a step above a nursing home. Imagine an all inclusive (low end) hotel with nurses that does physical therapy and that describes it perfect. Needless to say, I bored off my ass! Tre (my wife) has spent a ton of time up here, but now she's going back to work this week it means I'll be finding some shit to do this week before I go nucking futz!

As per my physical health, I'm feeling fine, and pushing my body as hard as a can, spending a equal amount of time in a wheel chair and in bed once I get tired. My mobility is right where it should be and I can put about 50% wieght on it before I get "squinty" and feel like it going to give out. Oh yeah -NO MORE ARTHRITIS PAIN! That point alone is amazing. I'm on NO pain meds (okay except for the 2 vicodin at bed time - but that just relaxes my leg muscles so I can sleep). They have me wearing a full knee brace just to keep me from messing up. You have to remember your 3 rules when you have hip surgery: 1) Don't break the 90 degree barrier (don't go under 90 when bending), 2) don't cross your legs, 3) don't inverse you leg (roll your leg toward the inside). Any of these can cause you POP your posthesis (dislocate) and you have to have it re-done surgically. Doing once makes you even more subsecptible to doing it again. So needless to say, I'm being really paranoid about how I move my leg.

Hopefully I'll be getting my staples out by the end of this week (42 of them suckers). I've got pictures (the doctor does and I'm waiting to get them), but my looks almost like an "L" on leg starting from my old scar and going across onto my ass. I've have yet to see it with my own eyes (even with a mirror) for the simple I think I would hurl.

Well, it's lunchtime so I have to go get my mush, so I'll post more soon!

Art "ScarAss" Crego

Ok, this is it. Crunch time! It's 5am Monday morning and I'm ready to go to the hospital. This sucks. I'm about 2.5 hours from time for surgery, but I'm leaving here in 1/2 an hour. I think I'm ready to go. After all the time of planning and thinking, it's time for the real deal. I haven't been nervous all weekend, but now as I ready to leave the house, I'm a bubblin' !

I'll be on hiatus for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll have the wifey post an update to let everyone know how it went. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

Okay Warden, I'm done. Let's start walking!

CRIPPLED BOY WALKIN'

-Art "I've got a fake hip, what's your excuse?" Crego

August ,18 2002 - Vol. 5 - Issue 3

So, I'm back from vacation and I'm exactly feeling in a bitchy mood, so this will be more of a combination of a bitch and a "can you believe it" kind of page. So sit back, and hopefully I'll make you giggle a bit, scratch your head and then make you go shower. Just kidding about the shower bit....

Our vacation this year started to be Maine, but it was too expensive to we decided to go to Canada instead. It was my son's first time going outside the United States, so he was excited about it more then we were. Anyway, we planned to go to Niagara Falls and Toronto. It was also about the same time as the World Youth Day (with the Pope) would be in Toronto, but he was leaving before we got there. We figured it would all blow over before we got to Toronto. Riiiigggghhht.

Needless to say, all of these "youth" that were in Toronto must have decided that since they were just down the road from the Falls that they should visit. Boy did they! Tons of tour buses and happy catholic kids. How do I know they were from this conference? Apparently everyone was given a backpack when they registered. That back pack was on every other person we bumped into. At least they were friendly even if they did have a tendency to shove.

So after hanging out at the falls for 2 1/2 days we went to Toronto. Holy cow! You guessed it, the youths that didn't go to the falls stayed in Toronto! Wait, that's not the best part. See before we left for Toronto, I decided to get instructions on how to find the Radisson hotel in East Toronto. Of course we go to the Fallsview Radisson to get directions. So we follow the directions, but for some reason can't seem to find our hotel. We can only find the Crowne Plaza which is right were the Radisson should be. Well after asking nearby folks about the Radisson, a guy at a gas station says that he thinks that Crowne and Radisson merged. Hmm, okay, let's go to the Crowne Plaza. So I go in there and the nice dude at the desk explains that this USED to be the Radisson. 4 years ago, but they moved (here look on this map) see, this is where it is. Cool, now we head to the right hotel, the whole time griping about how the Radisson would give us bad directions. Upon arriving at the hotel, I wander in and I'm told that they can't check us in because the computer is down. Okay, (deep breath) now I have had enough of the traffic and run-around that I need to relax in a hotel room, so I lay into this lady with "You can't check me in? I've been driving 2 1/2 hours of which an hour of that is because of wrong direction that the other Radisson gave me, so you tell me, how long more would you like me to drive around before I can go relax in my room?" She looks at me for a minute goes into the back office and then after 30 seconds comes back out and tells me we can do it manually. Wow, and I didn't even have to raise my voice. Little did I know, that the fun was not over.

See our package came with tickets to visit Ontario Science Center so the next morning we are there when they open at 10AM only to be told that the tickets were for 2 children. Shit! Back in the car and back to the hotel. I show the tickets to the desk clerk who apologizes and gives us the correct tickets. Back to the OSC we get back into the place and now apparently the tickets are good for 10% off adult fares. ARRRGGHH!!! Back to the Hotel and according to them, these are the right tickets. Fine. So we get OSC on the phone and they explained that I should go to the membership desk. Okay will do. So after 3 round trips and 2 hours we are finally in. I do have to give credit to the folks at the OSC. After we explained what had happened, they let John in for free. After that the rest of the trip was pretty non-eventful.

I know this really wasn't a bitch, but it was a funny story. Next time!

Wow! Long time, No blog!

I went of vacation and had a minor Daily Bitch adventure. Quick! Go read it and tell me how much it sucks!

Hey! I'm going to have hip surgery! What? Yeah, check this page out! It's a good overview.

http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/booklet/thr_report.cfm?thread_id=2&topcategory=hip

I'm outer here!

Now I know that line of code looks wierd below, but I've joined the BlogChalking rage. Go check it out!

-Me

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Rochester, NY, Charlotte, Art, Male, 31-35!

Ok, first of all, I know that I've set my goals a little high, maybe I should just put out new issues whenever I freaking feel like it. That appears to be a little more my speed. So anyway, onto what's bugging me because that's why you're here.

Sometimes I have to admit that when I want to vent, I don't want to contain it right here. I want to explode at the moment that I find myself deciding that this event would be a great "Bitch." Like today, my manager said something about being "politically correct," and of course I started to pop off, but then I though, hmm, maybe I'll put it up here. Believe me, my brain immediately started boiling on this one.

First of all, it shouldn't be POLITICALLY correct, it should be POLITELY correct. I think the basis behind that whole thing was at one point, political. I mean, our fine elected officials can't seem to refer to an Indian anymore, now they are Native Americans (damn skippy too! Don't even get me started on how we fucked them over!) or that brown guy isn't a black guy anymore, he's an African-American. Wait right there. Maybe if his Dad had come over from Zimbabwe, then he could be that, but I figure that guys is about as much African as I am Scottish. Only in ancestry does it figure in. Now Afro -American sounds a little better, even cooler, but still, we have to have a sort of label for some reason. It's a political thing because the politicians don't want to offend anyone. When it comes down to me and you, what do we care? As long as we aren't demeaning anyone or harassing them then is it wrong?

Just as an example, I was watching this lady walk by, and to put plainly, she was BIG! I mean she was pushing 350 easily, and I popped of to my buddy next to me "Wow, that's a big one!" Of course, he smiled painfully at me and the person walking ahead of me (not the fat chick - some other person - who was much thinner then me, like it matters) looked over her shoulder and gave me a disapproving look. I wanted to say something, instead I gave her a big grin. See, to me, I'm a fat guy, I'll admit it. Oh yeah, I'm also a CRIPPLE!! Now in my little brain that gives me carte blanche to say something to that blimp with tits, or the the guy with a nub where his hand should be, but is it right? That's where the debate hides. That is the point where you should be POLITELY correct. Being polite is that part of you that falls in the realm of Values & Morals. Should you make the whale joke? Should you tell the nub guy he couldn't find his ass with both hands? No. You know it's not right, it's mean, it's cruel, and won't be stood for, because that is what makes bullies. I was never a bully and I won't start being one now. Will I say something if you say something wrong to me? Oh yeah, you'll think I have Tourette's syndrome if you get me fired up. Then again, that's just me and we all know that I am truly blessed with skull full of bad wiring.

Like I said to my boss, POLITICALLY correct is being in the right party at the time everything in the country is going good. Then you can blame it on the other guys.

I’m done for today. If you can, Consider yourself "Bitched at."

Come back soon for another exciting session of "The Daily Bitch." I'm going to be trying for a new post on Mondays and Thursdays. See you then.

July ,18 2002 - Vol. 5 - Issue 3

Ok, first of all, I know that I've set my goals a little high, maybe I should just put out new issues whenever I freaking feel like it. That appears to be a little more my speed. So anyway, onto what's bugging me because that's why you're here.

Sometimes I have to admit that when I want to vent, I don't want to contain it right here. I want to explode at the moment that I find myself deciding that this event would be a great "Bitch." Like today, my manager said something about being "politically correct," and of course I started to pop off, but then I though, hmm, maybe I'll put it up here. Believe me, my brain immediately started boiling on this one.

First of all, it shouldn't be POLITICALLY correct, it should be POLITELY correct. I think the basis behind that whole thing was at one point, political. I mean, our fine elected officials can't seem to refer to an Indian anymore, now they are Native Americans (damn skippy too! Don't even get me started on how we fucked them over!) or that brown guy isn't a black guy anymore, he's an African-American. Wait right there. Maybe if his Dad had come over from Zimbabwe, then he could be that, but I figure that guys is about as much African as I am Scottish. Only in ancestry does it figure in. Now Afro -American sounds a little better, even cooler, but still, we have to have a sort of label for some reason. It's a political thing because the politicians don't want to offend anyone. When it comes down to me and you, what do we care? As long as we aren't demeaning anyone or harassing them then is it wrong?

Just as an example, I was watching this lady walk by, and to put plainly, she was BIG! I mean she was pushing 350 easily, and I popped of to my buddy next to me "Wow, that's a big one!" Of course, he smiled painfully at me and the person walking ahead of me (not the fat chick - some other person - who was much thinner then me, like it matters) looked over her shoulder and gave me a disapproving look. I wanted to say something, instead I gave her a big grin. See, to me, I'm a fat guy, I'll admit it. Oh yeah, I'm also a CRIPPLE!! Now in my little brain that gives me carte blanche to say something to that blimp with tits, or the the guy with a nub where his hand should be, but is it right? That's where the debate hides. That is the point where you should be POLITELY correct. Being polite is that part of you that falls in the realm of Values & Morals. Should you make the whale joke? Should you tell the nub guy he couldn't find his ass with both hands? No. You know it's not right, it's mean, it's cruel, and won't be stood for, because that is what makes bullies. I was never a bully and I won't start being one now. Will I say something if you say something wrong to me? Oh yeah, you'll think I have Tourette's syndrome if you get me fired up. Then again, that's just me and we all know that I am truly blessed with skull full of bad wiring.

Like I said to my boss, POLITICALLY correct is being in the right party at the time everything in the country is going good. Then you can blame it on the other guys.

I’m done for today. If you can, Consider yourself "Bitched at."

Some people you just can't understand. Other people you don't want to understand. Unless, of course, you could give two shits about them.

I'm tired of being a hard working while other people slack off. I've learned something today. As long as I don't blow my target times, then I pretty much come and go as I freaking please.

Not exactly the objective of my meeting today, but assumptions are made.

Curse me and my work ethic. Hopefully it will continue to pay off.

-I'm going home!

This is an Editorial written by an American citizen, published in Tampa
Newspaper. He did quite a job.


IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending
some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans.

However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the
politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our
patriotism was offending others.

I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone
who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is
almost entirely comprised of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few
things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently
some born here, need to understand.

This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only
to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have
our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.
This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and
victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian,
or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our
society, learn the language! "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not
some Christian right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because
men and women, on principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly
documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our
schools.

If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the
world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. If Stars and
Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously
consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our
culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did
things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY our land, and our
lifestyle.

Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his
opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But, once you are
done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our
national motto, or our way of life, we highly encourage you to take
advantage of one other great American freedoms,

THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

June 20, 2002 - Vol. 5 - Issue 2

You know, history is absolutely amazing. I'd like to know the guy who said: "Those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat the past's mistakes." So that may not be the correct quote, but you get the idea. I have determined that all the studying in the world will amount to nothing. As a race, scratch that, as a species, we are most certainly doomed to extinction at our own hand. Why? Well this could be a long philosophical discussion with many viewpoints, but I will show one example and how that I interacted with it. The example? "Road Rage."

Road Rage by Webster's definition: "Violent behavior exhibited by drivers in traffic, often as a manifestation of stress." See, it's even in the dictionary. The auto is a wonderful invention (please bear with me on this - I'm using an allegory here) and we use it everyday in some form or another. The way it has effected our life is incredible and yet very sad. For as many examples of how the auto is a lifesaver you can find almost as many that show how the auto has taken lives. I was a first time witness to road rage yesterday and it shocked me to my core because I found so hard to believe. Don't get me wrong, I've flipped the bird or muttered under my breath when someone has cut me off, not yielded the right of way or offended my driving skills in some fashion. Oh yeah, would I love to have a set of twin .50 cals mounted on the top of the car. Cut me off? Take that! BUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP! No more trunk, rear wheels and back seat for you! Ok, so it's fun to imagine, but what if I really did have that? Would I use it? Nah, but what about if they were PAINTBALL GUNS!! OH YEAH!! SSSSPPPPPPLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT! Followed by them dying in a fiery car accident because you scared the shit out of them, which caused them to swerve into the path of an oncoming tractor-trailer.... ooops.

Back to the matter at hand. As me and wife are headed to see the realtor, Mr. Tricked-Out Ford Bronco pulls out of somewhere cutting off Mr. Shiny Black Chevy S-10. Mr. S-10 takes offense to this by honking, screaming and making some very lewd gestures. Mr. Bronco retorts by offering a lewd hand gesture of his own and reducing his speed to a casual "I'm touring the area" speed of 5 miles an hour. Mr. S-10 has obviously been pushed to his limit. He passes Mr. Bronco on the right side (on the shoulder) at high rate of speed and cuts him off (blocking ALL traffic behind him). After cutting him off, Mr. S-10 stops his truck and climbs out, and by his speech, dress, and ethnicity has proven him to be named Mr. Gino and based on what we've seen of Mr. Bronco, his name should be Mr. LeRoy. (Yeah I know I'm racially profiling, but like I said we're doomed anyways.) So Mr. Gino is pretty enraged at this point and is taunting Mr. LeRoy to get out of his truck. When he refused to do so, Mr. Gino approached Mr. LeRoy and called him, and I quote, "FUCKING NIGGER" and then spit on him. At that point Mrs. Gino got out of the truck and told him to get back in, which he did, but not before taunting and hollering some more. Mr. Gino then spun his tires throwing gravel all over Mr. LeRoy in his tricked-out Bronco.

At this point Mr. LeRoy seemed to take offense and pulled over to the shoulder as if trying to decide whether or not he could whip Mr. Gino or perhaps it was to wipe the saliva off.. As traffic began to move again, I too, pulled over on the side of the road, discussing with the wife if maybe would should take down plate numbers and call the police. I had witnessed an obvious assault, but I was unsure of what would happen if a bystander should enter the fray or offer assistance. After a minute, my self-preservation kicked in and since Mr. LeRoy wasn't moving I figured he wasn't going to do anything and we went on our way.

It wasn't until later as I was reflecting on that incident that came to my epiphany. Mr. Gino was so mad that rather then call him anything else, he chose to slander him based solely on his skin color. All over an impolite vehicular maneuver and some accompanying hand gestures. Nothing was said about anything personal, it was simply because Mr. Gino did not like the treatment he got from another driver. (On a side bet, I think that Ms. Gina in the truck with him, may have contributed to his overall mood). Don't get me wrong, I've heard "Nigger" used quite a bit in my rather short life, but for some reason it struck me differently then any other time that I have heard in music, movies, TV, etc., etc.. Maybe it's because I would never, ever do something like that. I don't know, I'm still puzzling this one out.

This brings me to my doomed point. We are done for, at least until someone can show me something that proves different. Am I being a bit cynical? Yep. For all the good that is done, there is always a little bad. This was my spot of bad and I think it may have scarred me just a smidge. Nothing major, nothing even noticeable, but enough that I can only wonder about the actions of one individual on a planet with 3.5+ billion people who interact in some fashion every day. I will hold out hope that we are not alone in the universe because it will be a really quite place until someone or something happens along to fill the void.

I’m done for today. If you can, Consider yourself "Bitched at."

You asked and now you shall recieve.

I did it. I put a link to here on my main web page. Now the two are inexorably linked in a freakish twist of fate. Yeah you can say it, I'm a few sandwiches short of a picnic but at least it's fun to watch me write what the voices in my head tell me to.

Apparently another of my personal heroes has bitten the dust. Stone Cold Steve Austin of WWE is in trouble for spousal abuse ( http://www.badjocks.com ). What is the world coming too. Give me as much money as these fuckers have and I'll be the biggest humanitarian in the world. Well, not in the world, but I certainly do my share right here! Cripes!

Done.

Alright then!

I've only gotten a couple of answers to my Post - No Post the BLOG question. I'm going to assume since enough people think it's a good idea, then it must be? Right? So that will have it's own link very soon. Oh yeah, a new Daily Bitch is up. I'm going to try and put out one on Mondays and Thursdays. The blog will be my mini catch-all for ideas that I have.

Thursday's DB deals with change. So far it looks like Monday will be the topic of "Friends, Lovers, Co-workers, and the other Lazy, Evil Shits who you have to deal with in Life" which is inspired by true events in my own life! I know...it's hard to believe, but it will all be true. Trust me.

Later gator!

June 12, 2002 - Vol. 5 - Issue 1

First of all, I know that I have been away for a little bit and it's been a little while since I had a good "Bitch session." There are reasons, like I've been busy with my life, etc., etc., but you could care less. Even though my life has been going fairly smoothly, events have transpired that have convinced me that now, more then ever, I need to keep this updated, if nothing else then for my own sanity. Oh yeah, thanks to those that read my BLOG while I was away, it was your feedback that convinced me of what I had to do. So as I had said, there have been "changes" in my life and that's what today is all about.

Change can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. Like changing your undies everyday. That's a good thing because no one want to smell them suckers after you been wearing them a few days and the funk starts emanating from them. Changing your clothes is a good thing too, unless you have poor fashion taste, then it's one nightmare after another for the people around you. Changing your significant other can be a good thing AND a bad thing. Learning all the "stuff" from your new partner can be really fun, but at the same time, the old baggage from your last partner can tend to hang around like the funk from those britches you been wearing for the last 4 days.

At the company I work for, we have gone through a BIG change. We were "outsourced" to a smaller company. Now even though we all still sit at the same desk, have the same phone, and do the same job, we have new bosses, a new name on the paycheck, and suck-ass health benefits. How could this happen? Well, first of all they (original company) tried to keep us in the dark by not communicating anything to us. Only by some industrious digging on the web and reading between the lines were they FORCED to admit what was going to happen. So finally, after the shit was spread really thick, did we finally get to wipe off and take a look at the plans. Can you freaking believe it? It was almost a total coup-detat, we were able to get the BIG GUYS to show us. We were kept in the dark intentionally for so long I started the Mushroom Revolution.

I guess that some changes can be good, but this particular change was a virtual 24/7 rumor generator. Everyday we would hear something that was the contrary to what we had heard the day before. Then without much ado at all, it happened. The Announcement. Now it was official, there was a change going to happen whether we liked it or not. See this is what I trying to figure out. How a change that you cannot control can piss you off and make you a really FUCKING BITTER! See, it's almost like being told you are going to die. You have those same types of stages of acceptance:

1. DENIAL. "What? No freakin' way this is going to happen. They can't do this to us! If we do this we don't have the layoffs again? Yeah right, Kiss my ass!"
2. ANGER. "YOU BASTARDS! This is my repayment for years of loyalty? Kiss my ass, you greedy corporate shits!"
3. BARGAINING. "Well, it is a smaller company. We'll have more room to move to different positions. Did someone say we'll get to do hardware support?"
4. DEPRESSION. "Oh man, did you see their health benefits? These suck. A new badge? Aww, now I'm a sub-contractor? That's like shit under the lowest pond scum."
5. ACCEPTANCE. "Oh well, at least I have a job."

Yep, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Me? I think I'm swinging back and forth on all of them and have yet to settle into the acceptance phase because I'm pissed about it. All I want is some answers to some really easy questions. Like why? or maybe my favorite: "Can I see the money math for this transition?" I mean, call me crazy if you want, but you have to want to know the whole what, why, when, where, and how of this situation. Or maybe just I do. I just want to walk up to the person in charge and kick him in the nuts for trying to keep us in the dark. What would that accomplish? Not much, just a little satisfaction of how it feels to have your loyalty tossed back in your face.

I thought I knew how funny Dilbert was at my last position, now it's so true it's tough to find the humor, but given my sense of humor and twisted nature, I'll find it. Besides, it's only a matter of time before the new bosses find out who I am.

I’m done for today. Consider yourself "Bitched at."

Hey...go check out my web page!! I've been working hard to get some good stuff up there! http://www.dailybitch.com

On a separate note, I can't decide if I should make a link to this here blog off my website. So I'll be democratic about it and put it up to a popular vote. E-mail with your nay or yay and go from there.

I'm out!

Ok, let's see if I remember how to type.... FUCK...yep that still works. Good let's begin.

Today is my first real day back at work and I'm finishing up the rebuild of my machine (THANKS MR. JOE), and I make the mistake of doing a favor. Come to find out what I thought would be a 20 minute ticket has quickly turned into a 3 hour job. Piece of shit machine! I finally got it back on the domain after checking through the bindings! Who in the world would check the bindings, but apparently Mr. customer decided to get a wireless network going at home and the freaking Linksys software changed the bindings. Then he wonders how come he can't get mail. HEY SHIT FOR BRAINS! IT'S A WORK MACHINE, IT AIN'T ONE OF YOUR PLAYTOYS FOR HOME!!! Oh well.

I've been very depressed(?), disallusioned(?), morose(?) about this job lately. Call me crazy, but most of all I feel like I got the "high hard one" for all the work I did down at the the "other place." No thanks from anyone at Ed's house, no calls, nothing. I get that feelings I just wasted my time. Of couse from my 'mates here, I got lot's of "Hi, Howdies, and glad-to-have-you-backs," but nothing else from the authorities. Quit? Sounds like a grand idea, but then what will I do. Nah, rather hang around here and wait to see if DeJuan get some action going.

This machine is now done, time to go harass the customer some more!

Later!

Today is the the magic day! Last day of the TDY blog!

That's right, today I go home, back to the wife and kid, back to the big "X", back to lead (or wander aimlessly) the mushroom revolution. It's 10:39 now and only about another 20 minutes before we get "walked" out. First we have to fill out the paperwork that cancels our account and promises we won't discuss anything we saw (oops too late for that), etc. etc. We all know how that works.

The guys here got together and gave us some cake and I got a real nice card with comments inside. Everyone has told us how much they will miss us and how good of a co-worker I was. I feel almost kind of misty, but then I realize that I'm going HOME where I have co-workers that are missing me (at least I think they are). I set up the permanent out of office rule and I'm about to re-clone my machine to erase any incriminating evidence. I do have to admit, that I will miss working closely with the other TDY people, especially Ms Pat, Mr Tom, and Mr Fred. We had some fun times busting each other's chops, but now the only ones left here with be Ms Pat & Mr Fred. They are posted here until the middle of July. You folks might not know that Ms Pat has contributed quite a few documents to Ed's Place at the X, and it has been fun watching her chase these guys around trying to get them to sit down and walk through what they do so she can write it all down.

Of course I took lots of pictures yesterday and today, so you can see who all the people are, and while I'm on vacation I'll be re-vamping the Daily Bitch Homepage and posting all these fine pics.

Well it's time to roll! Signing off from Rockville, Maryland! No, don't worry, the blog will continue, because I sure that DeJuan is going to give me lots and lots to blog about. Thanks for tuning in, see you in a week!!

Well I got a call yesterday and I thought I would discuss it today.

Hmmm, I guess first I should say, that everyone has their day in the sun, and along that same lines, when you mess up you get in the blog! So today, the semi-annual "That's why you don't touch people stuff" award goes to Mr. Joe. Along with this award comes the "You did what to my hard drive?" technology prize. I don't want to beat on Mr Joe too much, but he definately deserves it. I'm sure he'll want to split the honor with Mr. John for telling me. Oh well it happens. At least Mr John salvaged a lot of my personal data. That's nice, good thing (because I had the wierdest thought I would have to "sanitize" my machine when we moved into DeJuan's house) I backed up my data (the important stuff) to 2 CDs before I left. Hopefully (hint, hint) all my hardware will be back to normal when I get back AFTER my vacation. Here I thought I was just going to come in on Friday and offload all my data from the laptop. Talk about taking a productivity drop!

Had a little meeting with Ms. Helen this morning to discuss a document that I had wrote. She seemed very interested, it's too bad I was only able to get about 20 minutes of her time. Felt a bit short-changed and really couldn't explain myself. I think I'm really going to miss most of the people here, especially the folks I've worked really close with.

For those keeping track...still no Amex card delivered to my house. Too bad Ms Sue told me not to call AMEX so I can't talk (harass) them about where the card is.

Oh well....

I know... I know... The text is scroooollllliiinnng across the screen. That is because of my May 16th blog. I made the mistake of scrolling a single word across the screen. Now, I can't go back and edit it, all of the rest of them I can, but for some reason the software is not letting me do that.

Soooo... The workaround for this is to look over on the left and use the ARCHIVE link for this week. The settings are to show the last 7 days of blogs so this will be hosed for another couple of days. Then is should straighten itself out (I hope).

I'm also trying to get the text a smidge bigger.

Picky, picky. But if everyone is reading it, then I guess I should be happy!

Ok, looks like someone had a bad server day! The blog is back....so lets chat...

Now, does everyone know what Tourette Syndrome is? According to a medical journal it is this: Tourette syndrome (TS) is an inherited, neurological disorder characterized by repeated involuntary movements and uncontrollable vocal (phonic) sounds called tics. In a few cases, such tics can include inappropriate words and phrases. The disorder is named for Dr. Georges Gilles de la Tourette, the pioneering French neurologist who first described an 86-year-old French noblewoman with the condition in 1885.

But this is the part we are interested in.....TS patients may utter strange and unacceptable sounds, words, or phrases. It is not uncommon for a person with TS to continuously clear his or her throat, cough, sniff, grunt, yelp, bark, or shout.

Did you see that part about throat clearing? I bring attention to this for 1 simple reason: MR. "YOU KNOW WHO" OBVIOUSLY HAS THIS!!! See, I noticed from the first day I worked with him. It wasn't so bad, until Mr. Scot (one of the "guys" here) asked him if that was his car starting impression. So today after almost 40 days of this noise, I did a little experiment. I put up a piece of paper and everytime he grunted, I put up a tick mark. Guess what? Since 7:45am this morning, he has done it 53 times. Yeah...that's 53 as in halfway to a hundred!! AND THAT'S ONLY THE ONES I NOTICED!!

Yep, it's bugging the shit out of me. Now it's a joke. I've even discussed it with Mr. Tom & Ms. Pat, you know, debating on how to count them. See sometimes he does it twice, with a brief pause between 1 & 2. Now is that just one or should it count as two. That is the length of our debate. Kind of weak ain't it.

Nothing much happening here. Took Mr. Steve out to lunch to thank him for being a good guy (he was the mgr we reported to while here). Besides that, only 2 days left. I brought the camera this week, so you will be able to see all of these people out on the Daily Bitch Homepage. If anything else happens, I'll pop it in.

Who's my bitch?

Hey...where's my blog? It is missing?

test blog

Monday morning Haiku:

My teeth are nashing,
Amex card not in mail, shit!
No charge for Artie!

Yep. That's right, nothing in the mail even though the lady on the phone said Friday delivery. I wonder if I can call and get a reference or tracking number. Then again, I have been told by my manager-who-prefers-not-to-be-named-in-my-blog that his manager told me I'm not supposed to be calling Amex.

Bummer, Thanks DeJuan! BTW, I did get the official "ask" to go to Canuck-Land to help Ed's setup company do some renovations. Yeah right. Not even if you gave me the freakin' card and a large suitcase of money. Anyone who volunteers for one of these "missions" should come and see me. I'll be more then happy to give you the number to my therapist. She seems pretty nice, but she keeps telling me I might have issues that she won't be able to help me with.

Can you say Prozac? Last week - 4 days, 3 nights left. Thank God!

It's Sunday!!

I goofed up and now I'm afraid. See I said I was going over to help a buddy do some painting but I ran into a small snag. Actually two large ones and a small one. See, Saturday I was going to help paint, but Friday night, my brother Scot calls and says his girlfriend / mother of his child (there's more but we'll save that for the DB) is missing us and we haven't seen the new baby since it was born and could they come up? Sure, my wife says, but she has forgotten that she is going to be in class all day Saturday and I'll be doing the entertaining. I tried to broach the subject of leaving them alone for a couple of hours, but then we got into that "how do we lock the house AND what if you're not back and we need to get in" conversation.

Long story short, I didn't go. I kept meaning to call, but by the time I found the number it was 2 hours later then when I had planned to go over. So now I feel like a total shithead. Especially since I was trying to talk my fellow co-workers into going with me. Something tells me I really have a ration comeing my way for this little action, or should I say in-action.

Once again, I'm a dork.

Woooo Hooooo! It was a "welcome" day of sorts!

Now mind you I don't feel that DeJuan gave me a proper "Howdy," but what the hell, it leasts it something. I could have done without his "checkbook" information though. Reading that didn't leave me with a warm fuzzy at all! I guess I'll be letting go of that dead horse, which is a good thing, cause it was getting kind smelly being 17 days old and all.

I've got a little more to say, but I believe it is also "Daily Bitch" material. I heard something on a phone call yesterday. It leads me down a wandering path about personalities. You know, whose got them, who don't, whose bugs you, and possibly, how much your's bug them (GASP!). Is it possble that someone doesn't like you? More about that at another time and another place.

So it's time for me to do the airport thing. Only 2 more flights after this one. Only 4 more days of being away. Only a little more of this situation with expense reports and Amex cards. Will the blog close? Will it end? Nahhh, there will always be something small bugging me and since this has been mostly dealing about work, maybe I'll keep doing it, even when I get back to the "X" becasue there's always something happening there!

Peace out! Word to yo' Moms!

Gosh, You like me! You really like me!

Of course, maybe I present a little diversion into the boredom we know as our employment. First and foremost, Welcome to day 16, of the "I don't think DeJuan likes me much cause I haven't got a welcome note from him" whine. This is the longest running whine on this board! Of course, it may be the only whine in here, but don't worry because I'll be serving cheese later (insert drum noise here)!

Oh yeah, still no Amex Card - Hypocrite alert! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! WHERE'S MY CARD? Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! Art spending his own money - not happy! This alert is not over - just filtered out. I had a bit of an epiphany last night (much to my wife's chagrin - she got to call me ball-less dork because she knew I would go back without the card). Any ways, I was thinking about this whole card thing. I was told to expect it in 8-13 business days maybe sooner. Hmm, okey-dokey, I'll go with that. Now, if I don't get the card in the mail within the next 3 days (thurs, fri, or sat) then I won't need it. I mean if it arrives Monday, why bother having my wife Fedex it to me? It would take a day or two, so I'll end up having it only for one day? So I'll check with Amex myself!

Call #1 (main corporate Card number)...blah blah...Ok Mr Art...you SS# number only shows one card which is cancelled. What you might want to do is call the application number and see what the status is. (that seems like a good idea) Thank you!

Call #2 (application status number)...blah blah...Ok Mr Art...(I explain ENTIRE situation)..hmm, Okay I see what happen. It looks like the application came in at the same time the card was cancelled. This caused the application to be denied (not processed) because it appeared to the "system" that you already have a card and we don't allow people to have to corp cards in the same name. I see what has happened and I'll approve this application right now. It will take a couple of hours to process but it WILL go out today for delivery tomorrow (so I will have it Friday night). We are really sorry about this, but these situations aren't typical....blah ...blah..Have a nice day!

Ahem! This is the part where I go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now do I feel better? Nope. Someone is gettin a lump of coal in their stocking this Christmas!

What do I say? Catch you later!

Good day to you!

And then you woke up to the screaming hell that is your life!!! Just kidding, I love my job, no really I do! No wait, get away from me with that needle! I don't want to put on the hug me sweater!

Welcome to day #14 with no "Welcome to my house" from Dejuan. Not that I'm feeling testy or anything, after all, I'm used to the fine mushroom treatment I got from Ed, so why would anything change? My manager (who prefers not to be named in my blog), got an official-type note to confirm a conversation that I had with Mr. Steve. Basically, everyone is all done effective May 31. Niiiicccce! Good thing too! I'm done effective the 23rd and I'm planning on taking some much needed "decompress" time during the week of the 27th. So you folks won't get to see my shiney face until June 3rd.

You know I have to admit, that I'm a bit of a hypocrite. Yeah I know, it's hard to believe, but I went back on my word. See I said that I would come back and stop this whole nonsense if I had to pay out of my pocket, but yet here I am. Ed took his card back, and Dejuan is promising me that his in the mail. What do I do? Quietly acquiece to the whole thing. If Dejuan promised then I'll believe him. Of course I wasn't looking at that other hand that had a tube of KY jelly in it. Needless to say 13 days later and $300 in the hole, here I am. Well at least I have plane fare home, a rental car, and a hotel room. What more could I want? HOW ABOUT THE FUCKING TRUTH ONCE IN A WHILE? HOW ABOUT A COMPANY THAT WON'T BEND YOU OVER LIKE A HORNY SHEEP SHEPARD THEY ARE AND TAKE THE SKINBOAT TO TUNA TOWN???

Okay, that was uncalled for I know. You get the general idea. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. You know what? I don't care. There's a shock right? Speaking of shocks, someone is in for a good one. I wrote by "Lessons Learned" paper today. This is what I'm giving to the managers when I leave. You know how that works, it's everything I observed, my opinions, inefficiencies that could be corrected. Just imagine a politically correct Blog and you have the idea.

Well it's time to get back to the hotel. Later!

Alright! So no post Friday (May 10) since I was building a server AND I left here about 12:30 to go to the airport. Hope everyone had a nice mother's day, especially Ms Gina and my sister-in-law The Liz-ard (as I call her), two of the newest mom's I know!

Now on to the Blog! Had a reletively good flight in, if you don't mind bouncing around the cabin. When we left Roch-cha-cha, it was a bit on the foggy side. The cloud deck was around 150 feet. That was pretty cool watching the planes go "poof" into it. At least until you're on one of those planes. Typical "dick-in-zipper" day the air line though. They had no flight crew (cause they were at the hotel using up their federally regulated sleep time) so they couldn't move the plane up to the gate. Cool, get to go out of the terminal, onto the tarmac (did I mention it was raining?) and wait on the stairs until they finished wheeling Methusalah's grandmother into a seat. Then our 7:40 flight didn't leave the ground until 8:20ish. Just a weee bit behind the schedule. I like a little turbulence, let's you know that you have to have something inherently wrong with you in order to strap into a big silver tube and buzz around the countryside.

Once I got to work, it looked like a good Monday, at least until Mr Lee started cursing. Apparently someone broke his server and you can be sure who is trying to pin it on! Yours truly. What really bothers me, is that I'm hearing it from the other side of the fence. He said some words to Ms. Pat along those lines of idiots screwing up the server, she told him, how could they do that, they you HIS APPROVED documentation. Of course he was not there supervising the whole thing, but come on, this is me. If there was a problem I would have seen it long before he did. It would have cropped up in all the reboots I did. The last time I saw it working correctly HE was working on it. Something smells funny here and it's not my cologne! I feel bad because he's been taking a lot of heat from his fellow co-workers and it may have been me, but I rebooted several times and it worked fine, I almost want to offer my help, but I know that deep in his little red-neck heart he thinks I'm the ignorant fuck responsible for him having to bust a hump to get it working.

Screw it, guilt is for suckers! I did it and I'm glad I did it! You know what? I'll do it again! Well as soon as I figure out what "it" was, I will, mark my words.

Time for dinner - Later!

Hooray! I have something to do! I was talking to Ms. Pat (our tech writer) and was telling her how NOT busy I was and before you could say "can I help you with anything?" I'm proofreading her server build documents. This is great! Not only do I get to review the docs, I get to build servers using the docs (very important) and as an added bonus, my name (might) appear on the docs themselves since I assisted. FINALLY! Something usefull to do! Now onto the really fun part!

See, down here they have two teams, one is deskside and one is Mail/server. Now the deskside get to do some work on the file & print servers, but they have NO rights to the Exchange, BDC, or PDCs. Did I mention that DS cannot even change passwords? Apparently they have NO RIGHTS to the main domain. Oh sure they can add people to the building specific machine domains, much like our ****CR1 (wink, wink), but they have no ability to do anything in the ***MC domain (follow me? I'm using this for an example). See the Mail guys look at the Desktop guys like they are morons and the Desktop guys think the Mail folks are prima donnas!

Now imagine if you can, our chunky little hero arrives on scene with a team of very proficient SAs. Apparently when they create our accounts they add us to the Account Ops group. This allows us to log into the Mail guys special domain. Now in the process of building a BDC, one of the Mail guys who we'll call Mr. Lee, see that I can log in. This immediately confirms his worst fears: A desktop SA has the same rights as him! His panties bunch up and his dick twists up into a knot and he goes crying to his Team lead (I'll go into the infra setup later) and before you can WHAT THE FUCK? I can no longer log into this server. Let me explain why this happened.... See Ms Pat has been working with the teams here to get the docs corrected, created, and generally in order. Well, not everyone is really open to this idea because they have to set aside time for her (see my previous blog about her and the handrails). So Mr Lee is told he has to build these servers as part of this rollout project they (the mail guys) are working on. All of a sudden Ms Pat has a brainstorm and decides to let me and a couple of the desktop guys build the server. Proof positive that the build documents are correct especially if someone who has SOME server experience can do it. Mr Lee is told he has to "supervise" this rather then do it and he freaks and starts babbling on and on about how he is too busy. Next thing you know, Ms. Pat tears the handrails off the back of Mr Lee (mounted their a month earlier for easy access to riding his ass around) and turns them into steel nun-chukas and proceeds to beat his ass down like the whiney little bitch he is. Okay, so what really happened is that when he started whine, Ms Pat said that we (as in him and her) should go over to the appropriate manager's office and discuss it. At that moment he caved and said he would comply. SMACK!! WHO'S MY BITCH NOW??

Now Mr Lee did not take this well at all, you could tell he was fuming, but with no way to get back at her, he struck back at us. Bringing us to where we are today, with your hero in the middle of one really smelly shit storm. Because even if we did have those rights by accident, the PROCESS was not followed to take them away and THAT is the core of this little feces flurry! Now to top it all off, since he pulled my rights, while I was logged in, my profile appears to have corrupted something on the machine, so we have to spend 3 hours rebuilding it so we are sure that nothing is wrong with it. I mean it is a BDC and can't have any mistakes on it, now can we.

Check you later, the wind is blowing in and it don't smell good!!

All right..I'm a day behind! So sue me! It took me that long to recover from the plane ride. The plane ride? Oh yeah!

See a certain admin has been breaking her hump trying to keep up with all the renovations over at ED's house, now that he moved out and DeJuan moved in. So needless to say she had no idea about who to talk to about making travel arrangements. Also, note to all who read this, if DeJuan does anything like his expense reports we are in for a good time. He is a one cheap fucker! (my opinion) So this poor admin who well call "Shelly" works for 3 hours getting just ME travel arrangements for Monday. Since DeJuan decided not to expedite the Amex cards, we can't even book our own travel plan (hotel, air, car). So she finally gets it straight and rather then getting me book on Airtran, DeJuan's folks get me booked on US Air for 3 times the cost of my normal ticket! ON A PROP JOB!

Monday rolls around and I ride a plane (not a jet) for 1.5 hours with a 3rd of my ass hanging off the seat and my left leg in the aisle keeping the other 2/3 out of the middle. FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK! After this, I have to wait 25 minutes for them to drag my luggage into the terminal! At lease the car was all set and I had a nice ride into the office here. I left the house at 5:30 and walked into the building at 10am. My butt still isn't talking to me. After I talked to Shelly and explained what had happened she again busted her hump to get my tickets moved back to Airtran. Props out to her all the way!

While on my flight, I started getting to thinking about this whole mushroom thing and an evil thought blossomed. A manifesto! Every good revolution needs a manifesto, and so I have drafted one. If you want a copy, e-mail me and I'll get you one. A certain manager who prefers to not be named in my Blogs, has also been doing a good job trying to obtain us info about DeJuan and the quiet treatment he has been giving us. Let me digress a moment on this one thing. See I know bullshit when I smell it, and when I saw that one of the reasons they DeJuan had not spoke to us was that "they did not have everyone's address" and they use L-notes. Hmm, I really don't need to say anything, because many of my fellow mushrooms spoke up. You know what I'm saying here? They never heard of a DL? We have a really special one made just for us? I'm here on a whole nother account and I can send e-mail to everyone who still works for Ed. Nuff said!

As per today (tuesday)? It was quiet today. I did 2 tickets! Wow! Good thing I'm here, because I know that those would have gotten someone in trouble. Mr Roy and I had a little chat today about going home. He mentioned that things had been slow where he's at but it pick's up in spurts. Then we got into the whole "how long are you staying" talk and he made mention that they like having us around because we'll be filling in while some people go on vacation. HUH?? Oh man, now I know I'm done come May 23. I am so freaking out of here! These "guys" are so clueless that they'll be screwed whether we're or not. They need to hire people. Plain and simple. What do we do when one of us goes on vacation? We all team up and pick up the slack! See, I don't think they need us, I think they need to hire people LIKE us working here ALL THE TIME (as in start firing your poor performers - worked for us). Mr Bill was right (not to honk our collective horn) but you guys don't realize how good we are! Save me from shitheads like this!

17 Days and counting! (Till I'm back at the big X and this fun is over) Don't worry, the blog will live on!

Whooo Hooo!

Some dumb shit (who shall remain nameless but you'll know who I'm talking about) figured out today that if he rode with me to the airport that he would not have a way home come Monday! Duhhhhh! I've only been PMSing about this for a week now. No credit card = no plane ticket on Monday. Pretty simple to figure that out, but he only caught on this morning! Although today I just found out that DeJuan got our new paperwork and I should have my new card in 10-14 days. Hmmm...that means I should have it by the 13th? I plan (if it is okay) on coming back (being done with this TDY) near the end of May. Come back for a week or two to Rochester, and then come back here for a week or two? Uhh...riiiiggghhhtt. Of course I've heard a lot of the "locals" here would prefer that Shithead (my new name for the Dick that shall remain nameless in my blog - he lost his Mr title, so I'm a little pissed) go home rather then me. Wow, I'm glad they like me that much and recognize my customer talents. Well either that, or Shithead is no Mr personality. Of course Me staying ain't happening without someone coughing up some sort of incentive (i.e. bonus money, raise, etc.). The novelty done wore off this shit, I don't care how much everyone likes me.

Well I'm outer here! Might be another update today, maybe not. Gotta get home to the wife, get me some quality time! ;)

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Today we are going to talk about leadership. Those who are, those who want to be, and those that are not. We have several fine people leading us in our everyday life, in our jobs and in our private lifes. Let's focus on work today. See if you are designated a manager then you are expected to manage, but if there is no manager, sometimes you are expected to lead yourself, self direction is a good thing. Sometimes in this situation, you may be a group of people with a real manager or you may have a manager, but feel that this person is not your manager, because your manager is in another city. Often times, one of the members may take it upon themselves to become an impromptu manager. I have just personally experienced this. See, sometimes a good manager has to have experience, people must like him or at least respect him, and AGE does not necessarilly make you a manager. On the other hand sometimes people have a tendency do things without thinking, or they have thought about it and they are doing it on purpose to make you look bad or make themselves look better. Case in point:

See when we first started this assignment, we were here for a week (with no IDs for the ticket system) so we had a lot of time to observe the practices in use and ask questions (this is what I did). Now for awhile all us (TDY) were getting together at breakfast and talking. I made mention that I had drawn up quite the list of what I had done this week and sent it to the local manager we are reporting to. Needless to say, when I get settled in to work and I'm getting my message together, what pops into my mail box, but a letter from the SA I had been talking to about my idea, giving a status report for all of us for that week. Wow, what a fucking idea, wish I would have had it! Wait I DID! Well, not really, I was only going to report on myself since I don't want anyone to think I want to be a leader, because we don't need to have one for just 4 of us!

Now flash ahead to this week. I had told all the SAs we were working with that I would like to be the point of contact for this particular project that has had a lot of new machine being re-imaged and set-up (to me it made perfect sense - I mean why have 3 different people handling the machines - makes one person responsible - I thought it was a good idea). So I'm checking the tickets, and here is an order for 4 more machines but the SA in question has ignored my request and is doing them. I told him that I thought I was going to handle those tickets for that project and he proceeds to start getting "huffy" so I figure, I'll drop it after all I have to work with him rather closely for the next month or so. So last night I pick up one of the TDY guys from the train station, and we are talking about how much work we are NOT doing since it seems like we have caught them up. He tells me that he is telling the "higher-ups" that he will be done at the beginning of June. I agree with him, 2 months is a long time from your family and the contribution we are making now, seems very small, I mean we are closing tickets, that's it. I could be doing this back at the "X" rather then here.

Yesterday morning. So we come in and I'm having (what I think is a confidential talk) with the SA in question. He is nodding and agreeing and basically following right along agreeing with what I said. Day continues without incident until about 2 pm, when (according to him) his pager goes off and it's Mr. Bill. Him and Mr Bill are apparently really tight, apparently so tight that this FUCKING ASSHOLE proceeds to tell Mr Bill what I told him (in assumed confidence) WORD FOR FUCKING WORD! Was I evesdropping? No, my cube is right next to him and you would have to be deaf NOT to hear what he says to anyone. I'm shocked, mortified, astounded! Why? Well because, I got part of the information from someone else whom I'm sure did not think it would get "around" to the wrong people. But WAIT, it gets worse! How? Well after he gets off the phone with Mr Bill, I confront him about what he had said and he basically just blows me off. Okay, I deserved that, it's not the first time I've worked with him, and I know this guy is like a mule when it comes to trying to tell him something (won't admit guilt or change when he's wrong). So I go over to talk to Mr Tom (who's been great fun - he's the project manager here on TDY) and explain what just happen when out of the Mr. Steve's cube come ASSHOLE! He just told him! HOW DO I KNOW? Because he stops as I'm standing there talking to Mr. Tom and says to me that if we want to leave at the end of the month just to let Mr Steve know. WHAT? YOU FUCKING TOLD HIM TOO? DOES IT NEVER FUCKING STOP WITH YOU? DID I FUCK WITH YOU IN A PAST LIFE? JUST WHEN DID YOU THINK YOU BECAME MY FUCKING LEADER? WHO NOMINATED YOU TO BECOME THE HEAD OF THE GROUP?

Needless to say I was shocked. I was ready to blow, but I think at that moment my brain cut out and just left me hanging slack jawed in amazement. Mr Tom said I should have popped in the mouth. Oh believe me, I thought about ripping his head off and taking a shit in his skull just so I can say he truly is a shithead! Being the man of cruelty I am, this motherfucker will get his due at a later date. Because I'm going to dedicate some serious free time for some truly great payback. The worst thing is that Mr. Rudell warned me and I failed to heed his advice, now I've learned, the dark side lives in all of us.

-Art "Atomic Wedgie" Crego

Well the day is just about done and nothing really exciting going on here. Looks like some of the migration projects are beginnning to start. Rumor mill has a certain federal dept coming in to start looking over stuff. I've been added to the "move" on-call list. This means that every thursday, they take turns helping customers with moves. Wheeeee! Disconnect & reconnect, disconnect & reconnect. Can't wait, next thursday is all mine!

My buddy Howie strikes again! He fell over and out of his chair! It was hilarious! I heard the crash and stood up and 20 people all did the same thing. All the heads poking over the cubicles like little prarie dogs, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I started clapping and Howie got a standing ovation! He got a little red-faced but he was smiling the whole time.

The family is arriving today for a weekend here. We are gonna cruise DC and then go check out the Baltimore aquarium, it's supposed to be pretty cool.

That's all for now! Have a great weekend!

****note this should have been posted on 4/25 but BLOGGER was having problems****

First and foremost! I've started the "bitch board" so any of you that feel like talking back about what is going on at work, that is the place to do it. You should be able to join the board by finding it and go from there. If you can't get in, then e-mail me and I'll send you the invite, which is the easy way to go too!

Wasssup here? Not much, over the past 2 days I built 4 workstations, 3 SQL servers, and 1 (regular) server. Mind you I did them all from an image and installed the SQl server software extra. That was fun. Now I'm rebuilding a web-server which is pretty easy. Then I had to deliver all of those bastards, needless to say, I'm pretty sore right now from "totin' and liftin' "! Although I did do a lot today, I also helped out our local asset manager by organizing his room and cleaning up (tying up cables) mice and keyboards. Loads of fun, but at least I feel like I'm being used to my full extent.

Today, I made a new friend, Howie. Howie is my new victim, I love playing with his head. He's alot like Mr. ScubaT (you know who I'm talking about), he came from a helpdesk and he's so shiny new he squeaks when he walks. The perfect toy! He was rolling the cart down the hall and I hear CRASH and then he comes around the corner all nervous looking. He was bringing a computer back and it tipped over. I had to pick on him a little about that. THEN he tried to cover it up (he broke the NIC somehow) when he asked the tech lead for help. Too funny!

Besides that, nothing much going on, just getting set for the weekend. I'm staying here and my family is coming up for my birthday. Hopefully we'll here something tomorrow about the whole Dejuan caper!

Later!

Well, not much today. Yesterday they had a bomb scare here, so everyone got a half day since it happened at 11am and they didn't re-open the building until 6pm.

Speaking of bombs, I opened up a board on Yahoo where we can discuss the impending shaft "they" are calling the transition. Go here or send me an e-mail and I'll send you an invite to make it easier!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transitionvictims

So Mr Steve came by and explained how we have to start doing our finaces for a week or two while "they" get their collective heads out of their collective asses and get us some credit cards and expense reports. You know, the novelty has quickly worn off of this whole thing. I don't feel like I'm being utilized correctly, The workload (IMHO) doesn't merit having us here (unless something big is going to happen really soon), and I miss the family. Now I'm going to have to jump through hoops and depend on someone else, which leaves me feeling like I'm bad because I won't carry $650 of debt for a week at a time so I can help the company. People knew we were out here on this TDY and still no one has answers about when we are getting our stuff. All I can do is count on other people to make sure it is being followed up on. As if they don't have enough to do, the 4 of use on this TDY are a blip on the screen and then it's not even a big blip. I think we 4 should just say screw it and come home until we get it all straightened out. Something tells me it would happen a lot faster that way. Either that or they would "find" some EDS people who aren't getting dinked to come and fill our spots.

This whole transistion thing is such a clusterfuck that I'm amazed they are even trying it. I think it would be better if it wasn't rushed, but they are and it is going to be bad. Trust me on this one! Maybe not the whole thing, but there are going to be major pitfalls. Anyone want to make book on how many will NOT sign? I'm saying 5 minimum. I've got a feeling about that number!

I'm done. I wanna go home, I wanna go back to the tower and relax at my desk. Later!

Wow, talk about a good time! I left work at 2:30 to get a jump on traffic and the lines at the airport. Ooops, jack knifed trailer on 95, slow traffic, It was like I never left an hour early. Then once I get to the gate, me and Mr Tom decided to do the cocktail & sandwich thing. We find that when we get back to the gate, the flight has been delayed 2 hours AND moved to another gate. Long story short, instead of getting home by 9ish, I get home at 11:15pm. I stopped and thought about it, if I would have left work and DROVE home, I would have gotten there about the same time, maybe sooner.



Remember - I'm back in Roch-cha-cha this week so don't expect an update!

Hmm...I guess I consider myself a dork!

It appears that after a phone call this morning, I missed calling in to a conference call yesterday. I had the days messed up in my head. Me? Mentallly confused? There's a news flash right? Anyway, yesterday's post wouldn't have been like that if I would have been paying attention to the DATES! Thank you to my "immediate superior" for calling me and asking why I missed the phone call yesterday. That's too bad, because I know I would have fell off my chair giggling.

I'm really looking forward to "our" lunch next week since it will be good to see everyone again. Especially now that we are one big happy family AGAIN! I know that some people might think of me as that one "special" reletive that everyone seems to have, but hey, you gotta love me!

I've had people writing me about how to get to this site, because people are talking about it. I've even been told that my boss's boss may be viewing this. If so, then Throw yo' hands in the air!

So today I'm taking a little abuse from the "guys" down here, because yesterday I did something really dumb. I moved a printer from one location to another. Long story short, the port on the hub was bad, so we moved it to a new port. Now the fluke says it's working but the printer won't ping. Of course we have three people involved, me, one of the "guys" and the tech lead. Needless to say the tech lead asks the magical question, is it plugged in? Well, it was, but not in the right spot! I had been finger the holes in the back (rather then spinning it around AND LOOKING), and found the one that "felt" right. I plugged it in and heard a "click" so I thought I was good. Did you know that you can plug (and I use the term plug verry loosely, more like wedge) a RJ45 cable into the appletalk port on JetDirect card? Yeah...that's me, I'm a dork. So now the abuse begins!

Gotta go....need coffee!

Uhh...how do I say this?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN ROCHESTER????

Yeah, I think that just about sums it up. So I'm sure Mr. (someone who is my immediate superior), is thinking that this fat man either has a crystal ball or knows where the leak is. Well it's niether, I can read the evironment, after all I did say it last week.

It was a quiet day here, with the bi-weekly team meeting. We (me and Mr. Dick) got some "props" shouted out for our most excellent work. Besides that, it's just ticket after ticket!

Later...I gotta have a beer!

ALERT!! ALERT!! HOT RUMOR!!!

Dig this! You may have seen an org announcement come through concerning our buddy Mr. Skip. Seems he is stepping down because of personal problems? The personal problem is the chunk of ASS he is missing from NOT TELLING (as in keeping it a secret - assuming that they knew) the execs at the big "X" about our little transmogrification. Can you say "I'm a mushroom farmer too!" I knew you could! Seems they found out the from an article someone saw in E-week!

I'll go you one better - speaking of mushrooms, there are 3(?) other contracts that are involved who know NOTHING! Dick, squat, bumpkiss, (add your own term here)! They will be finding out the day of the townhall. All they know is that an important announcement is going to be made. Blindsided? I don't think so, but I know they don't have the inside track to the info that we do.

Someone better invest in some cast iron undies, cause folks will be looking to rip off a chunk o' Ass!

I got to get a tylenol - my head hurts from giggling!

Alrighty then! Needless to say, once again we ran out of IP addresses!! I was really worked up over this because I had 3 separate people come up and tell me that need to make sure that I release the IP after I finish "imaging" a machine. Yeah, that's how close to the edge they are. Needless to say I went batshit right after that (along with one or two other SAs) and wrote to Mr. Eugene for help on how to explain to these Server FUCKS how you configure this properly. Now I only say this cause I got several lines of bullshit when I told them they should change the lease expiration to less days. Whatever!

Now I realize I have talked alot of shit about this place, but let me tell you the neat stuff. First of all, the WHOLE network is 100Mb (even between the buildings) and it is fast. Second, they run Windows 2000 on all the desktops (although most servers are still NT 4). The image they install vis'a'vis "Ghost" is very stable and quick (even though it pulls over the network). Fourth, they have some pretty nice perks like the automatic hot drink machines (two per floor). These a like mini-vending machines for coffee, cocoa, tea. Not to mention the water /ice machine combo (the industrial kind). The place is in a Tech developement area which means the traffic is not bad and the parking is great (3 story parking garage next to the main building). I noticed that a certian "VirusScan" company is next door.

Well, there, I gave them the respect that they deserve for the good stuff. On the other hand they have now been able to sit at their desks a little more lately. I actually got commented to (from one of them) about how we are "all over the tickets." I said it's nothing special, I do this everyday and my queue is always being worked. I've also been showing them the merits of closing non-contacting customers. No reply - no work! They are learning, but it's taking some time.

Hasta la vista!

Well, it's friday, and I know I didn't do an entry yesterday. Sorry, I get tired just like everyone else. I've actually been working about 46+ hours a week. I get in at 7:30 and don't leave until 6pm. I actually have found that some of the customers are staying that late.

Gossip update!!! I've heard that the "deal" is done. The date of transmogrification will be April 30! Can't tell you where I heard it and I won't mention any names, but I believe it's true.

It will be interesting to see what happens, just from the point of traveling back and forth. I mean if "Ed" wants his American Express back, he will most likely just cancel the thing. So that means that "DeJuan" will have to give me one becuase there is no way I'm paying this out of my pocket. Which means I'd be back at the "X" real soon.

What's been going on here? I've been watching Ms Pat put handle bars on some of the server guy's asses. She gets on one them and is like a rabid pitbull on crack! They piss and moan because they just don't understand why they have to have a "standard" for the servers. Don't even get her started on the naming convention for the tapes, I heard her talking about that trying to make her case, and it's cool, because she has the power of a manager when she starts making her "suggestions" and what not.

Only about another 45 minutes and I'll be climbing into the car for a ride back to the airport to go home to Rochester. Am I happy? Oh yeah, I miss my family (wife, kid, and cats). Gonna have to upgrade the ticket to get the business class and the two free drinks!

Later Gators!

Well today, we did what were supposed to do CLOSE FUCKING TICKETS! I know, no need for profanity, but finally after almost a week and half they got me and the guys IDs for the ticket system. So today, I closed 7 tickets. (Now doing the R-E-S-P-E-C-T dance).

How ya like me NOW? No longer just the funny little fat man eh? What's that? I can't hear you over the TICKETS I'M SLAMMING SHUT!

I know... that's not nice, but sometimes these guys get a little whiney, just like us, but when we whine we are usually working too. I'm not sure what is going on with the leadership / mentor roles, but it really gets wierd. Especially when someone starts talking about "aged cases" and how they have some tickets over 4 weeks old because the customer is too busy for them to do whatever work they need done.

WHAT? You heard right, 2 calls, and hold for us. Here they keep it open until the customer says "I'm done." Unbelievable, me and Mr. Dick had a good little conversation and then the whining started. I told them straight up that they have to go to their manager. Open door some of the CDEs and tell them what a crock that is and how the customer "abuses" it, thus causing them to have bad metrics. That was greeted by mumbles and confused looks.

Their "team/tech lead" is a good guy, but I don't think that the rest of the team respects what he has to say, either that or he was going on about the same thing again. They walked away, going to get water or whatever, while he was trying to get their input. Wacked man...really was. After a couple of minutes it was just me and Mr. Dick talking to him trying to figure numbers with him.

Oh well.... Let's see what tomorrow brings....

I'm making like a baby....I'm heading out! (Thanks Nelson!)

Ok, so what happened today?

MORE OF THE FUCKING SAME! Sorry, just a little bent because of the reaming I just got from Ticketbasterd (Ticketmaster). That is going to be a Daily Bitch because a mention in the Bitch log won't do it justice.

So we went to an "all-hands" meeting yesterday that lasted 2.5 hours. Quite the dog and pony show. All the new people were there from other "accounts" because all the original people got "moved" when the account exploded. There was a huge slideshow presentation that had alot of the same stuff we do (ie their call time & resolution). These guys have 8 hours to close an 02 type ticket. Must be freaking nice, but they are pissed. All I can do is shake my head. I heard it said before. This place is exactly where "X" was 5 years ago. Most all the customer hate thier "support contractors" for one reason or another. The big boss stood up yesterday and told them to "get the fuck over it (I'm paraphrasing) because we are going to work HAND IN HAND with them to make this work!" That's what he said, what I heard was...we signed the contract and right now it would hurt our ass a lot if we tried to bust out of this, to the tune of 70 million, is what I heard.

So after 2.5 of sitting there, my ass hurt it so much, it didn't fall asleep, it slipped into a coma. Looks like I might have an ID for the ticket system real soon. Ooohh and I got voicemail today! Hoo-freaking-ray!

Peace out Beeeyyyaaattch!

Ok, so needless to say, it's Saturday and I'm in Erie for Easter. Not much going to happen today. Although while we were at the mother-in-laws, the S-I-L stopped by with her SO in tow. He didn't say much to me. Never does. It's been a major sticking point with me that this dork talks shit about my abilities even though I do it everyday all day long. Not to mention that I've cleaned up after him twice.

See what bothers me, is that he's a postman who considers himself a computer tech. I mean he builds systems and what not, so I guess that makes him such right? Me? I'm opening up my new restaurant, Chez Artie, next week. I mean, I can cook so by his logic, I can be a chef (with no formal training either). Now I'm been making sure he knows where I'm going and where I've been. If you get my drift. Let's see, has the postal service ever sent him on a TDY for his knowledge of computers? Maybe but HIGHLY doubtful because he's a POST MAN!! He's a MAILMAN! Every time I see him it totally pisses me off that this DICK considers himself my EQUAL. Uh right....

Oh yeah...checking FuckedCompany.com and looks like an EDS poster has struck again, this time posting Dickie's latest memo. Go see by clicking on the link on the right or go here: http://www.fuckedcompany.com/extras/eds2_email.cfm .

Later! Happy Easter!

Ok, so now I'm at home. A bit about the flight.... It was about 3:30 and one of the guys I'm working with asks me what time I'm leaving. I told him 7pm, and he says 7pm? Looks at his watch and then says LEAVE NOW! Then he turns to his friends and starts talking about my flight and drive so then they start almost chanting LEAVE NOW...trust us...LEAVE NOW!

Alright....so they might have been right about that. It took me about an hour or so to get back to the airport, and then about 1.5 hours to get my ticket and get through security. The longest part was getting my ticket NOT getting through security. Sooo I got some dinner from the Roy Rogers, and then waited for my flight. Now herer's the cool part, I was standing there and I started talking to this guy (as we watched this rather large breasted woman with a tube top come off the previous flight) and he is telling me about how crowded the flight looked and how you can upgrade to business class (which is basically bigger seats and such) for only $25. Needless to say, I did it. Got to get on the plane first and then the best part FREE DRINK VOUCHERS!! You get the idea (only 2 free drinks though)

Ok now about the work. I'm home today (Good Friday) and needless to say that it has been a week their and I have done very little work. I have NO ID to get onto the ticketing system. NONE of the SAs there have taken the time to "mentor" or basically take charge of getting us some tickets to do. How freaking bad is that. This place needs some work. I already made up my first week list and have debated giving this to Mr. Steve.

Oh yeah, remember happy hour? Fucking Assholes! Not really their fault, but Mr Dick was following one of the people to the place and I was going to follow him, so I didn't print off a mapquest to the place. Well I came out one exit and they came out another and after waiting 5 minutes they took off. I waited another 5 and then called Dick on the cell, he told me how to get there. Here's the problem, once I got there 45 minutes later, no one was there. I waited for a bit and then went home (hotel). Next day they tell me that no one gets there until 7 (even though it was said that it started at 5:30). Dorks! You would think that someone would have said something.

Oh well...next time.

Okay, so we just had an all hands meeting. Not sure how to classify who was there, but apparently it was the same as if Ms. Angie (wink wink) had a meeting with everyone. At least it seemed that way. They had the pictel going with DC, NYC, & Conneticut with a couple of smaller groups on the speaker phone. Went about the same way our meetins do.

I have to say that I heard a couple of problems we have dealt with and I'm going to feel like a hero kind of when I start handing out the answers on what we did. For instance, the backups are taking way to long because of Virus Scan running in the background. They are trying to get the script working in Arcserve. Hmm... sounds familiar, this looks like a call to Mr Chris to find out the exact answer!

Ok, I don't have the answers myself, but isn't the mark of a good technician to know where the answers are if he/she doesn't have them?

It's looking like that Mr. Roy and Mr. Bruce are going to be the lucky ones to go downtown (or so Mr. Dick says). I thought there was going to be an interview process first, but I guess someone made the decision.

Did a couple of installs - fun fun! I'm ready for my first contact with the customer! Of course the one I'm doing craps out and won't connect to the domain AND won't pull an IP. After screwing with it for 20 min (and doing everything that the local "guys" we decide that it has to be the image since you can connect the old machine and it works fine. FUCK! It's like that time at the spring dance and your first big date. Your all nervous because you asked Mary Lou Rottencrotch to the dance and she said yes. You look good, she looks good and then the moment she leans over to kiss you and you yak all over the front of her....

Before you ask, no I didn't whip chunks on the customer, but I might as well have. It's just the way I felt. But wait, there's more! We get back to the desk and the "local guys" start playing 20 questions like I might not know what I'm doing. I'll give that too them, but while I'm 'splaining about the IP one of them says "they are prolly out of IPs in the DHCP..." What in the BLUE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? How can you run out of IPs? How long is your lease? 7 Days. 7 DAYS? Wow, no wonder you are having connection problems.

Breathe... just breathe ..

Happy is hour is coming quickly, I need a smoke.

Dork!

Ok, first of all I know I'm a day behind so I'll do my best to try and keep up. Just use your imagination and pretend it's yesterday.

So as today ends, we've learned how to use the ticketing system. Remember Remedy from like 4 years ago? I know where it went to retire, and believe me, it has NOT gotten better with age. These guys are getting screwed by the metrics (which is what the customer lives by down here), but at the same time, it's there own fault. See we had a meeting with the customer escalation manager Ms. Michelle (same kind of position as Ms. Eileen - you guys know who I'm talking about) and all she does is try to prove to the customer what kind of problems they are seeing. At the same time she also is the customer liason, which means anytime the execs have a problem she has to face the music there. Annnyywayyy, she gaves the straight poop on what we are facing with our new co-workers and customers. Our co-workers are of two types, transition or new.

The transition guys came over then the new company (you know who) came in and I mean like 500 or so transitioned. Now these guys have a small problem relating to there former co-workers in the fact that they know who the problem people are and try to service them like before. That doesn't work because the remainders / stay behinds know they don't have to put up with shoddy service because of the contract claus. This claus basically says, if we meet LOS every month, you give US 500K bonus, if we don't then we pay YOU 500K. Needless to say, it's fun to watch.

Have to run. We are having a team meeting.

Ok, I'm here and the first thing they have us doing is helping some client manager person install a macro to 30 or so machines. Lots of fun, but I'm a little confused so far. Still waiting to see what is going to happen after lunch. Ass is still sore from the anal probe I got at the airport when I made the mistake of saying "those M-16s you guys are carrying are the bomb!" Went downhill really fast from there. They seemed really touchy for some reason.....

On the other hand the "guys" here are really approachable ( read: glad to see us). It appears as we only got half the story. Might be the owner of the contract (wink wink) might be close to losing the contract. It is definately a case of too much work vs. not enough "guys" especially since they just lost 2 to layoffs. Mario (one of the "guys") explained a lot that seemed to have gotten lost in the story that was told my Mr. Bill. Customer handling skills here seemed to require a lot time spent on your knees (figuratively speaking) or you end up with a nasty report to your manager. I believe it has a lot to do with the "ratio" that they have, not to mention how touchy the client base appears to be. Written procedures seem to be a lost art down here also contributing to some of the problem. You should have seen there face when I explained about our special "team" that closes tickets using remote tools, all over the country.

Our newest charcter in the story is Ms. Laura, who is their leader, she is going to interview us after lunch and see who has the right mindset(?) to be sent downtown.

Speaking of bombs, I casually mentioned about a outsourcing thing happening in Rochester. Seems they have never heard of this. Looks like there will be some "bar meetings" while some stuff gets explained.

Ok, so I tried to add a couple of links, you can see I added a couple of my favorites. If you can thing of any others, then send me an e-mail at acrego1@rochester.rr.com

I'm trying to get the changes right on this. Trying to find good one.

Ok...It's Sunday, and I'm packed. Looks like I'm ready to travel. Kind of excited about this, plus they have Good Friday off so I get a 3 day weekend for Easter.

More on Monday!

Ok, so we had the meeting on Monday with Mr. Bill and talk about things and how we are representing the best of EDS, and then Mr. Steve came in gave us the "cream of the crop" spiel and made us all feel warm and fuzzy. By that time my head was so big, I had trouble getting out of the room.

Looks promising, we get to fly down, and we get $30 for meals per day! Although right now I'm being kind of told that I might be riding down to DC with one of the other "volunteers." Uh, I don't think so. That's about 7 hours (as the crow flies) with someone I barely know. I'll pay the airfare out of my pocket - screw that! Let's think about it for a minute, first it is a 7 hour ride, but that means we would have to leave Sunday which means 1 less day of my weekend. Second, IT'S A 7 HOUR RIDE! I don't even understand why you would even want to take your own car. Seems really silly.

Gotta run - More in a bit!

I've just set this up and I'm wondering what it will look like. Gave up trying to get it working from my own site, so screw it. FDWI so it has ads, oh well.

Monday is big meeting with Mr. Bill. Well get our charge cards and phone cards. This should be interesting. First let me try and set the rules:
1) I'll try not to use last names (protect the innocent and me from assholes)
2) I will tell you straight up just how bad this "contract" is.
3) I make the rules.

There, I think we are ready. I'm supposed to leave a week from this monday. I might post comments from my meeting tomorrow.