BUSTED!

So you know how a picture is worth a 1000 words? How about a screen shot?
Exhibit #1

That might a little hard to read, but here is the gist of it: Mom and Dad leave. Nicki, the new s/o (significant other - since she is not a girlfriend) stops by while while parents are gone. Parents arrive back without warning. S/O hides in closet for a while until time is safe. Then drops out of second story window to escape / avoid capture / meet the parents. As if to seal the deal, that comment on the bottom of the page is my son's. Talk about signing the confession!
The Drop
The Drop from another angle
Bending my trim! <--she hooked her foot here (also broke two of my Xmas light clips)

The night it happened....Wednesday
Now what makes this interesting is that as soon as we get home, the 3 year old is pulling on Mommy saying "Mommy come see the girl on John's bed!" She is pretty persistent about the wanting us to see, so Mommy goes to check. She looks around and sees nothing. Mind you if she had turned around and check the closet, the game would have been up. We proceed to "check" with Emma (our 3 year old) to see what kind of description she gives. My wife just writes it off. Meanwhile, I'm looking at John.... my cockroach sense is tingling something awful. I mean I have that tingle that you get right before a lightning strike. That strong. I can't get past the feeling, but I can't find what he's hiding and he's not admitting anything, so I move on. At most I'm thinking he was on the phone or the computer instead of watching his sister.

The Heartbreak.... Thursday
So we get home from Target and John is all moody. He won't tell me why and after 20 minutes of badgering, I give up. I guess about an hour passes and my wife comes down and explains why he is upset. Apparently the new S/O (Nicki) doesn't want anything to do with him. SHE PLAYED HIM! Boy, did we warn him on that one. Did he listen? Nope. How much is this going to suck? Keep reading....

The Discovery .... Friday
My wife loves scandals, but only when it other people. She's not a gossip, but she LOVES a good secret. I come home from work and John is at the movie with the ex-GF just enjoying a date as friends and I start talking to my wife about what she found out the previous night. I mention I would like to see the e-mail so we decide to go check out his machine. Since I have his passwords (yeah I'm that kind of parent) we login and cruise around until we find the page in question (see above). It only takes a minute for me to put it all together..... and I lose my freaking mind.

I'm gone. I'm looking at my wife and she is just as shocked as I can. I snatch the phone up and call John. He is in the movie and answers...

"yes sir?"
"John, you need to go to the lobby right now and let me know when you're there!"
"I'm in the lobby now."
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!!??!! (it went downhill from there for about a good minute) YOU HAD BETTER GET OUT OF THAT MALL RIGHT NOW I'M ON MY WAY!!"

I hung up and I don't remember any of what my wife said. I was really pissed for a multitude of reason (not watching sister, dropping girl out of second story window, jealous boyfriend, etc). I get in the van and drive down to the mall, fuming the whole time.

As I pull in, I see the EX-GF hanging out with him, but upon seeing my vehicle she high-tails for the mall. John walks up and I tell him to go get her. She looks terrified, but all I want to know is if she has been to my house w/o my permission. No, never, (even adding a sir on there). Then to seal the deal, I ask her if John told her about why I'm so bent, (just to seal the coffin) and he has. She then volunteers information that basically paints Nicki as the "School's official Skank." Nice. The ride home involves a lot of shouting, harsh words, and some expletives that would have made my late grandfather (32 yr Army Sargent) proud.

So, what to do. Well, he's already emotionally in the shitter, so I finish it off. Let's try a month of nothing. You think nothing of placing your family before your penis, so nothing it is. No phone, no computer, no ps2, no TV, nothing. He is allowed to either be in his room reading or sitting in the living room with us. Period. For him, being around me is like living with someone with a multiple - personality disorder. Happy Dad - Psycho Dad. I tell the story and people and everyone is laughing and what not. The minute I see him start smiling, I'm all over him. Psycho-Dad. "What the fuck are you smiling about? You think this shit is funny? You think you're cute?" It works. He wanders off near tears. I can laugh about it. I can make other people laugh about it. That's how I ease my pain. Him? He's the immature little dork who thought he could get one over on his parents with no consequences. Wrong!

Ooops!
We are setting around at the hotel hanging out (we went to in-laws for Easter) and my wife thinks she is going to work on the some school stuff. At least she did until she found the free wi-fi and started surfing. Where? Back to Myspace and google mail, when in the process of digging even further, she finds that two weeks previous when he was out riding his bike around he went to Nicki's house for a visit.
Exhibit #2

What makes this fun, is that again it is a LIE! See, he wanted to go for a ride. I said sure. Off he went. Come dinner time, we decide to go out, so I call John on his cell to come home. No problem on the way. A good 15 minutes go by and still no John. I call him again, I can hear him huffing and puffing on his bike (over the phone) he's on the way. Why is it taking him so long? Because he went over to Jean's house and was playing his Xbox 360 and couldn't drag himself away. What? No problem, you're ground from your PS2 for a week. There that should teach you. I don't this kid or his parents. This moment comes back to haunt me 2 weeks later and it makes perfect sense. Yeah, it would take 15 minutes to travel back from the s/o's house.

Needless to say, if I could find my mind, I'm sure I would lose it again. All said and one, I'm hurt. To the core. I give the boy everything he wants (not spoiling him - he has to earn it), and this is my payback. I told him that this is two strikes, one more and it's off to Momma-ville. She can put up with his lying bullshit until he's 18.