The Daily Bitch

June 26, 1998 Vol. 1 Issue 2

Terminally happy people piss me off. I mean what is that you are doing that makes you so fucking happy? If it’s a drug then give me some; if it’s some good news, well then share that too. I just want to know what makes a person so fucking jolly they walk around with a glazed look and that sappy smile. They always have something nice to say to you when you bump into them in the hall. WTF is up with that? Maybe the glazed look and frozen expression is an indicator of something. Maybe something like Alzheimer's or some other new brain problem. Senility can be an ugly thing, but would come in handy in getting out of other things. Like I bet you don't ask Grandma Jones to remind you of the big interview you have at 1:00 tomorrow. I'm sure Grammie would like to remember that for you, but her terminal smile lets you know she back reliving one the best times of her past life. All I want is for one time to say what is on my mind as that person walks by and says "Good Morning! How are you doing today?" I have to almost physically repress the urge to just turn and look at this person and say "Eat shit and bark at the moon! It must be nice to be lost in your fucking head! Is there anyone in there today? Any little voices singing to you? I'm doing the same as yesterday only 24 hours later! It's also 7 fucking AM in the morning, do I look like I'm glad to be here?" There is a hell for people like me that holler at mental deficients like this person. Instead I crack a smile and joke right along, "Well my hemorrhoids have been acting up since I got the trots from that Mexican food last night." I know this person will smile in that little way and maybe even giggle a little for me. I know they don't have a clue and they could care less. Oh well, I guess it's just me.

I’m done for today. Consider yourself "Bitched at."

Come back tomorrow for another exciting session of "The Daily Bitch." See you then.

The Daily Bitch

June 25, 1998 Vol. 1 Issue 1

Welcome to the premier first issue of "The Daily Bitch!" I know this isn’t much, but we all start someplace. The "Bitch" is an idea I kind of borrowed from another web site. On that web site, as I will here, the author basically writes up what’s on his mind. What a concept, right? As I see it, I don’t want people to stop by and think. Think? That’s a real weird idea. Why would you want me to think? I’ll tell you why! Because stupidity is not reserved for the slow-witted anymore. ANYONE can be stupid at anytime! I’m not talking about accidental stupidity, because we all have our moments. I’m talking about the retards who poplulate most of the freaking earth! Know why? Because stupidity breeds faster than intelligence and believe me the morons are breeding like rabbits. Know why? Because "smarts" don't come from watching Baywatch (although good boners do) or Wheel of Fortune. You have to APPLY yourself to get smart, you have to want to be better then the average idiot. If someone is reading your website then be glad, because these are obviously people looking for some enlightenment in an otherwise dark world of feeble-mindedness. Stupid people run the world. Look at politicians - they are idiots put in office by people who believe what they say. All politicians lie! No - not Sen. John Dummy he said he is for the people. YEAH for the people paying more taxes in order to give him more money in his next raise.

Show me a smart person in power and I'll show you 10 idiots who will kill him for a dollar. Bill Gates is a prime example of a smart person in power and idiots trying to get rid of him. He KNOWS THE SECRET! What is the secret? PEOPLE ARE SHEEP! They are dumb and slow and Bill is the shepherd with the high boots and the tube of KY jelly walking your way! Unless you are lucky (and I'm assuming this) to have gotten enough knowledge from school to make you one of the more intelligent of the witless millions roaming the web, then you’re one of the stupid people who ended up here looking for some quick amusement. If that is the case, then LEAVE NOW! This is not a page for the cluless, witless, brainless, insensate, or fatuous. If people give you an opionion and you keep it as your own, then your are in the wrong fucking place! I only want people who think about what life it and how sometimes it sucks, because those people are my fellow humans.

I’m done for today. Consider yourself "Bitched at."