Okay... so today starts a kind of personal log where I want to kind of track what's going on. Of course, being the kind of guy I am, I'll post it out here where my friends and others can see it and give me feedback.

A little background first... My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD. My wife had long suspected it (being a Special Education teacher and having lots of exposure to it) and it usually a genetic issue. During the conversation with the pediatrician we basically determined that there was a pretty good chance that I was the one who brought it to the party.

This really got me thinking about me, my personality, work ethic, and how I interface with the world in general. I did some researching on the internet. Thought about it. Did some more researching. Watched my daughter's reaction to her medication. Thought about it some more. Then I decided to talk to my Doc.

We talked for about 45 minutes, where I learned quite a bit more, such as that ADD and Sleep Apnea can effect people the same way, in fact they can be confused. Huh? What? That really got me thinking because even though I was/am being treated for Apnea, the sleep dr. said I was a very mild case (56 out of 100). I also found out that STRESS can aggravate ADD, which makes sense, although I'd never seen that happen. HA! Anyways, I walked out of his office with a script for Ritalin and here we are.

He recommended (wrote) 20-30mg (2 -3 pills), every 4 hours, not to exceed 9 a day. I'm going with just 20 for the first couple of days. I don't think I'm going to be doing an evening dose. I don't know - still thinking on that.

Day 1 - Morning - I think I'm a little too aware of my own brain right now. I think it's working but I get the oddest feeling that something is missing. I'm doing my normal morning drive, but it feels weird. I guess the only way to describe this is to say that I'm LISTENING to the radio and that's ALL I'm doing. Does that makes sense? I'm not thinking about the band and where they are playing, or the next song, or how blue the LCD is, or how I need to clean the van, etc. etc... When I try to put my finger on it, the only think I can say is, I'm the one clicking the button on the remote.

side effects present: slight headache in the middle of my head. Really wierd, feels like it runs from between my eyes, over the top and down into the base of my skull. Oh - and I was really wicked thirsty this morning. Almost like I had "cottonmouth."

Okay - due to popular demand I'm going to start this up again. Most of it due to that fact that my friends are slowly scattering to other jobs and I see them so infrequently that it takes up valuable time to update them on how "issues" are.

So, as some of you might know, I've been pretty vocal in my opposition to my son (John) getting married, despite the fact he already got married in a civil ceremony back in August. The "marriage" I'm referring to, is the "church" one that essentially makes it official to my son's future mother-in-law. Essentially now he'll be able to have those "special moments" that a wife and husband should have.

Uh-huh. Right. My vocal opposition has been casting me in a bad light. I've been villified. Made to seem the bad guy and basically looking like an asshole to my daughter-in-law's family. They just can't understand WHY I'm not being supportive to them and just not behind the whole deal. Well... John came straight out and asked me to be supportive, I told him I couldn't. We had words. He's mad at me and we all know how he loves to be the martyr in a situation.

ENOUGH!

I was driving into work this morning, when I had an epiphany. WHY? As in why fight this? He's already married and nothing I can say is going to change that. He's not going to get it annulled. It's ALL out of my power. There is NOTHING I can do. What would happen if I went along with it? That I change my mind and GO WITH FLOW? Instead of beating my head against a wall, I should sit down and let the wall provide me with shade? Replace that aggression with a little passiveness? What's the worst that could possible happen?

However - do not mistake my passiveness for weakness. I still think a mistake has been made. My opinion on that is exactly that. It is mine and I am entitled to have it. I have done my job as a good parent and pointed it out. It is up to my son to live through his own experiences and learn from them. Good and Bad. If asked I will repeat this simple phrase: "Live and Learn."

Now it remains to see how this will all be taken. Now that the opposition is gone, what happens? I'm sure there will still be suspicion. The dislike will still be there. Who knows? Maybe some forgiveness. Either way, the issue is out of my hands, let the chips fall where they will. As long as my son gets what he wants.

As you know, I'm on Facebook, so you can catch me there if you want to toss me a note :P

Oh.. and I'm going to try tweeting on a regular basis, so follow me @Artietude .