Whew! Time to blog!

We are now headed rapidly towards the end of the year and what a year it has been. On the personal front, I'm a new Dad! That's been a whole experience in itself AGAIN. See I already have a 14 yr old son and so much time has passed that it's all new to me again. Enough about me, let's get on to the fun stuff!

For those of you following along, it looks like DeJuan has been in a nasty fight with Ed. Ed want us to come back and live with him. Why? I think it's because we brought home enough of the bacon to make it worth having us around. Ain't that the shit? So, with Ed romancing us regularly, the rumor of full scale "moving day" is supposed to be scheduled for early spring. Oh yeah...I'm good for some of that! Apparently Ed is hip to our situation and will be increasing our allowance. Well not everyone's, but he's got this whole performance thing down (you know how pimps can be).

I'm happy. We knew it was coming. As me and a Ronsey had decided to finally get what we could out of DeJuan by enrolling in his 401k plan. It took us the better part of a week to get enrolled only to have DeJuan announce 30 days later that he was freezing the contributions. Hmm...first the raises, then the 401k.. does anyone smell that? I have a conspiracy theory about that whole 401k thing. As I see it, I think that DeJuan had a idea or an inkling that something like this was going to happen. Rather then keep paying into the 160 or so plans of people who would soon be moving back to Ed's house, he got clever and shut it off. Makes perfect sense to me, sure it pisses of your other housemates, but look how happy they will be when it gets un-frozen. Apparently Ed is gonna cough up a chunk of cash when the van pulls out of the driveway.

Things will be wierd once we get back to Ed's I'm sure of that. You know that whole "I only did this because I loved you and someday you'll understand if you really love me" kind of thing. Uh-huh. See the fun is just starting. See, the X is about to make things really interesting come June. See it's been 10 years of up and down's when it comes to Ed and his X, but this summer, I think she's talking about changing some things. What happens then? Layoffs, I'd bet my right testicle on that. Hopefully I ain't on that list but I know some people that should be (that's mean huh?).

Ok...enough for now...
but keep watching, I feel a new year's resolution coming on..yeah, more regular updates, more fiber less filler! Ohhh don't forget to expect a Daily Bitch on how things piss me off!

Outie-

I know, I know, not enough posts to really be calling this The DAILY Bitch. Should be more like the "When I Freakin' get pissed off and want to rant" Bitch. I'm a busy guy and sometimes I forget. I've gotten the idea from all the e-mails, thanks for the those, I'll be stealing..er using them soon. For the rest of those just wondering why I don't update more, well, I'll try.

Today's Topic: Helping the helpless and screwing the Helpful!

Yeah, that's what it's all about...today I heard that they are bringing some people back (that were laid off previously) to help with a project in another building. Why? Because they are too busy? Because they need the help? Because the local folks don't want to do it? It doesn't matter the reason why, actually it does, but first let's look at why this is happening.

Managment & "The Bottom Line." Things have gone to shit around here. Pay raises that were promised have been frozen again. More and more every day it seems that the "Upper" managment wants nothing to do with us and only when the "Client" starts making grevious noises do they spring into action. We've been cut to the minimum and finally "they" are starting to see that. Good for them, bad for us. Using a recent example will illustrate this perfectly. A couple of weeks ago, we were hit hard by the latest virus buggy circulating. We saw the ticket load jump 300% (if not more) due to all these infected machines. Now, if we would have had our normal complement of worker bees then this would have been a small bump rather then the life draining cluster-fuck that it turned into. It took "people in charge of virus" almost 4 days to come out with an official fix for this. Our ticket closing time was totally blown off the charts, but that's okay, because this was such a train wreck, management just said all of those virus tickets don't count. Huh? So, the huge ass pile of shit sitting there just got turned into a fart with a strong breeze blowing so not trace was hardly left. Yeah, until the variant of the same virus stopped by 2 weeks later AND IT HAPPENED ALL OVER AGAIN! No lie.

So enough on management and their screw-ups. Let's talk about people who don't want help. I work with some really smart people. One of them (during this first virus outbreak) wrote a little VB tool that worked in conjuction with the virus scanner. Worked great, we had it out and working 3 days before the official fix came out. The head virus honcho (who we'll call Mr. Raoule) got a hold of the tool and then got a hold of the creator. What do you think happened? Yep, Mr. Raoule is a bit anal retentive and bit of an egotistical shit head with no management power whatsoever. That did not matter to Mr. Raoule, he proceeded to verbally ream the creator for a good 10 minutes and then threatened him with getting him fired. Uh-huh. Yeah.... I have to give it up to the "Mr. Creator" because I would have gotten in my car and drove to his office and gave him a really good reason to fire me. I don't Mr. Raoule would have been as "verbal" with my foot 6 inches up his ass. The conversation was THAT bad, even a manager or two got pulled in on this one. The Rogue Team strikes again ? !

Being helpful is tough too. See Mr. Creator has come up with some really neat tools that would and could save tons of time, and it's free. It just requires a little work on the user's part the first time to get it setup. Do you think anyone that doesn't know Mr. Creator has come forward to say "Hey! That's great can I get some of that?" Nope. It's basically seems like it's just easier to play the ignorance role and just sit there looking for help, but only the help that you want. The kind of help that doen't require you to do anything. Reminds me of a joke I heard once:

....a small town is flooded. As the water rises, the homeowner, a religious man, prays to God to keep him safe. As the water fills the basement, a 4x4 truck comes by and offers him a ride. The man passes, knowing that God will protect and save him. The water continues to flood his house and he moves to the second floor. A boat comes by and offers him a ride to dry land and safety. Again, the man passes, knowing that God will protect and save him. The water rises high and forces the man onto his roof. About that time a helicopter spots him and offers to winch him up, but once again, the man passes, knowing that God will protect and save him. Finally, the waters rise above the roof and drown him. Upon reaching heaven the man storms up to God and says, I believed in you, how could you not save me? God replies, "What more do you want? I sent a truck, boat and a helicopter?"

Me? I could give two shits. I've been busy working on my new idea, the RRU. Resource Recovery Unit. Yep, I started my own group and I figure that it will look really good on my resume. What does it do? Exactly that, recover resources? What kind of resources? Oh you name it. This week, it's rubber bands, tomorrow it might be post-it notes or paper clips or maybe those binder clips. I'm working on filling the Unit's filing cabinent and making it the secondary supply location. Leave it laying around and chances are it will be RRU'ed. Doesn't it sound impressive? My own initiative and self direction taking me down the path of future employability. Yeahh...that sounds real nice.

Time for lunch...later!

So it begins....

It's started, no not the WAR in Iraq. I'm talking about the other side of the war that everyone sees the protesters! See I love this country, no matter whether we are right or wrong in what we do, I love America. The freedoms we are granted, freedom of the press, of religion, and most of all speech. That is what allows these folks to do what they do: Protest.

Protest is the heart of our county. It is written in our history. It is that little part of all us that wants to do something when we are wrong. I mean, there is a whole religion based on the protest of Catholicism. Yeah, it's called Protestant, but I'm wandering, back to the present.

Protesting is what we do in order to do when a group of people share an opinion that differs from the popular opinion. It makes our country great. You don't have to get a permit (sometimes) so you can pretty much do it at the drop of hat. Occassionally you can get arrested and sometimes you can cause a little shuffle (just watch them crazy white supremecists try and march anywhere).

Today though, someone decided to make an impression by decided to start their protest at 5PM. Downtown. Yeah, 5PM on a Thursday. Rush hour. WHO THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THEY WERE IMPRESSING? Come on! You had enough people that you could of got on the news either way. It get's better, they were marching to the Federal Building. The Federal Building at 5pm? Someone must have been stoned. It's 5pm you fucking idiots!! Shit, the DMV closes at 4:30, so who did you think was going to be watching?? Here's a really bright idea, next time do it at LUNCH TIME!! Then you'll not only catch people there, you can annoy them on thier LUNCH HOUR! That will really garner you some attention. I bet people down there will be really happy since you'll be delaying them in getting lunch and getting back to work. Extended lunch hour courtesy of the war protest.

No instead you decide you have to do it right in the middle of RUSH HOUR! People are trying to get home to thier families. Get away from work. Just plain get out of downtown. Now we have to deal with dipshits parading down main street stopping traffic. Stopping people who could possibly join thier protest maybe be swayed in the way they might feel about the war. Nope, they are in the middle of rush hour causing problems. Of course what happened here is nothing. In San Fransisco protesters there snarled morning rush hour traffic for an hour. In Philadelpha, they blocked the entrances to the federal buildings there. That is my idea of a nice protest as long as it's a sunny day. Have that extra cup of coffee and watch the festivities.

Even the Police chief asked the protesters to ease off. Because the more of these assholes like to get together the more police have to drawn away from real emergencies. So take note, do it the right way and try not to piss people off.

On the other hand, if I hear another self-indulgant, self-asorbed, never once set foot in a battlefield MOTHERFUCKER say that they are "ashamed to be an American," I will find their address, e-mail, or phone number and tell them to pack thier shit and get the hell out of this country! I can't stand to hear that! Ashamed? Color me astonished! I just can't believe that someone would say that. This is great county and people have died to make sure you can say that. No one would ever think to say that during WW2 much less after Korea. That is just plain old wrong.

"Freedom has a taste, that those who have never fought for it, will never know."

I got this e-mail from my Mom today. I read it and thought had a lot of good things in it, but then again it was kind of silly. Check it out!


I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason. That is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that's not racial profiling, it is the law of statistics.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English! My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a** if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or “stop" in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich.

I don't pity the poor.

I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid and smack their little a**es when necessary and say "NO."

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And please stay home until that new lip ring heals; I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness" and of all the suck ups that go along with it. I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa, so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough.
-Gail Knotts(?)

So it happened again today. It started with a quiet phone call this morning. Rumors of a "mandatory meeting" were circulating. That can only mean one thing around here: Layoffs. Can you believe it. We didn't even make it to the 90-day mark. This time it was only one from my immediate area. Why? Because this person made the mistake of taking too much vacation at one time. Whoops! "Hey while you were gone, we learned we could live without you! Clean your desk out!" I'm sure it didn't go that way, but I'm sure that's what it felt like.

I'm hearing a lot of things. More sad & bad then good. The local management is concerned, but the good thing is that for once, they are looking out for us. Yep, it didn't take long for it to degenerate into chaos. The transitioned vs. the new owners. We started at 200 and now we are down to 165 (estimate) in less then one year. How could this happen? It's all about the bottom line, the profit, the moolah, bling-bling baby....

Here's a great story from the front lines. This co-worker I know saw this really great job on Monster.com and he applied for it. They were excited about this job, it was right in line with what they do already. So they apply for it and have a nice phone interview. It went really well for them, and they were excited. Alas, the happiness was short-lived because they got an e-mail from the interviewer at the company... you know how this goes, blah-blah, thanks for interviewing..position has been filled, etc. etc.. Now the great part of this story is that the interviewer sent the same note to ALL the people who applied for the position. Only one problem, rather then put the names in the BCC field, he put them all in the TO field.

Oops.

Imagine this person's suprise when they see 3 other co-workers names in the addressee field. Yeah THREE other people from the very same company that they work for! That is something. Now if this ain't blog material then nothing is. Can you believe it? I couldn't, not even for a minute, but it's true. Now these other 3 people many or may not be the very best of crop, but still that's three people out of local group of 50 or so? Is it a case of the rats deserting the ship while it's sinking or do they see what's coming too? Wow! I wonder if management knows this is how disenchanted the troops are. What would they do if they did know? Is there anything they can do? How bad is morale around here? Obviously worse then I thought, that's for sure.

I consider myself an asset and I'm sure they folks do to. The cuts are coming so should you wait for them or do you get proactive and get the job before they fire you. Now if you're a smart person, you'll go now. Why? Because, if you get out there now, you can get one of the good jobs while they still exist. If you stay then you'll be here with the leftovers. Now by leftovers, I mean the people who can't find a job, the morons, and those people who work cheap and are scared.

I saw a quote on someone's cube: "Work like you don't need the money." Why? Because. You know, because is not a good answer, it ranks right up there with a shoulder-shrug. Isn't is easier to just say you don't know? Yeah..it is. Nothing wrong with not knowing. I'll admit to that. I consider myself an intelligent person (if you think that being loaded with vast amounts of trivial info is intelligence), but I'm not a smart guy. My common sense is lacking quite a bit. So what that happens if you work like you don't need the money? What is the reward? A hearty thank-you and a sound pat on the back? Thanks, but I'd like that bonus, or maybe a raise...yeah... How about this one: "Arbieite sind mach!" It's in German, and it says (loosely) work makes you free....It was on the sign above the entrance to Auschwitz. Yeah...that was a bit offensive, but then again, it's my blog.

Consider this. While I was at my last job, I thought Dilbert was funny. Now it's sad. Why? Because many times it is so true that it hurts. I was told "Give a man a job he loves and he'll never work a day in his life." Ahh...my Dad, there's a smart guy. Sage words to live by, and I really try to, but it get's harder and harder to enjoy my job anymore.

Well, I have to run. I have to go polish up my resume. Yeah...that's right DOCTOR....hmm...they'll never check to see if I got a PhD from a foreign college....

Okay! I'm back. It looks like I've been gone for awhile while I heal, but as I gain strength, I feel I must turn and do something.

We've passed a point, I've had a life changing experience. Did it make a difference? You know it! I can walk, there's no pain, and I'm losing wieght (slowly). It looks rosey, but it's not. I have a dark spectre hanging over me. It's the thoughts that are setting in my head, just hanging there. Questions with no answers. So here I am again. Alone with my thoughts.

We had layoffs again at work. This was round #2 and it we know that it's not the last. I watched two good friends catch the whack this time. Then I look around and see the incompetant getting to stay. WHAT THE FUCK? Have I lapsed into some surreal dream state? Have I been magically transported to Bizarro world where everything is opposite? No. Same old cube. Same wife, same son. No, it's just some folks get lucky.

Fear, it's an ugly thing to scared. It's even worse to be scared at work. Now, we all wonder who's next? You know it will happen again it's just a matter of time. I don't ant to be fired. I don't want to look for a job. Reality sets in though so I've tweaked up the resume for that "just in case" scenario. It's just a matter of time. Well enough of this. Let's catch a bit of the Daily Bitch!

Alright! It's a new year, time for some new resolutions. Let's see, first of all I resolve to try and be more tolerant of the ignorance that happens around me. I mean come on, you know what I'm saying here, it's not like you haven't seen it first hand. It could be someone on TV, on the street, or even at your job. It's that one person, you know the one I'm talking about, that can barely breath and walk at the same time. Maybe it's a co-worker that you work with every freaking day. When the layoffs come, lots of good people go, but there that person is working away at problem for hours that any 12 year-old could have completed. I will really try hard not to use the words "Fucking Clueless" when describing a person, no matter how much it applies to them. Maybe I'll use new techies terms like "Walking 404" or "cranially insufficient," just so it sounds a little more polite.

I resolve to be nicer. Not that I'm not already a nice person. I just feel that I could be nicer to strangers and the people around me. That is unless it involves letting someone take advantage of me. Yep, try to use me as a doormat, you'll be walking on a nub. I'm tired of people wanting to take advantage of my good nature because I have some psychological guilt thing working. I'm a nice guy, just leave me alone unless you really need that done. The next dork to call me buddy or pal will wish they hadn't. See already I think I'm blowing this resolution.

I resolve to get out and exercise. Now that my hip is all fixed (more on that later), I need to stop being such a fat bastard and join the skinny "in" crowd. Like that is going to happen! I've done the hard part, paying the money or a gym membership, now I need to get in there on a regular basis. Need to lose the blubber before it kills me. See, I have the fat gene or at least that what the scientists believe. It does not give me an excuse to be fat, it just means I have to work harder to keep from ballooning up like a dead cow under the hot sun. I'm going to do it. You can bet me on that one.

I resolve to stop giving such a shit about my job. It has become fully apparent that it does not seem to matter how smart or clever you may be, it won't matter when it comes down to wire. You can drive yourself into the ground doing the best you can. You can get glowing reviews, lots of bonuses and all the "pats on the back" you could ever deserve or wish for. What does it matter when it comes to the bottom line? Nothing. I watched it happen last year and I know that as sure as most CEOs are overpaid cocksuckers, it will happen again. No matter how much the person you work for likes you, if his/her boss says "fire him," you're history. I watch the team I work with get smaller and smaller. You'd think my co-workers would circle the wagons and protect each other. Nope. It's too bad that now all we can do is gossip about who is next and who deserves it more. I don't want to go to bed at night knowing that I caused someone to catch a pinkslip. That is unless they do deserve it because they are a waste of cubicle space. In that case, let me do it, I promise I won't smile, much.

I resolve to improve my morale. That could happen, especially if all the above happen. My morale has been going up and down faster then a $10 hooker at a Shriner's convention. There are really moments when I thought that I was manic depressive or something. Come to find out, I'm the same borderline sociopath I've always been. It's just the events around me that are bringing me down. Why worry? Be happy!