Okay - due to popular demand I'm going to start this up again. Most of it due to that fact that my friends are slowly scattering to other jobs and I see them so infrequently that it takes up valuable time to update them on how "issues" are.
So, as some of you might know, I've been pretty vocal in my opposition to my son (John) getting married, despite the fact he already got married in a civil ceremony back in August. The "marriage" I'm referring to, is the "church" one that essentially makes it official to my son's future mother-in-law. Essentially now he'll be able to have those "special moments" that a wife and husband should have.
Uh-huh. Right. My vocal opposition has been casting me in a bad light. I've been villified. Made to seem the bad guy and basically looking like an asshole to my daughter-in-law's family. They just can't understand WHY I'm not being supportive to them and just not behind the whole deal. Well... John came straight out and asked me to be supportive, I told him I couldn't. We had words. He's mad at me and we all know how he loves to be the martyr in a situation.
ENOUGH!
I was driving into work this morning, when I had an epiphany. WHY? As in why fight this? He's already married and nothing I can say is going to change that. He's not going to get it annulled. It's ALL out of my power. There is NOTHING I can do. What would happen if I went along with it? That I change my mind and GO WITH FLOW? Instead of beating my head against a wall, I should sit down and let the wall provide me with shade? Replace that aggression with a little passiveness? What's the worst that could possible happen?
However - do not mistake my passiveness for weakness. I still think a mistake has been made. My opinion on that is exactly that. It is mine and I am entitled to have it. I have done my job as a good parent and pointed it out. It is up to my son to live through his own experiences and learn from them. Good and Bad. If asked I will repeat this simple phrase: "Live and Learn."
Now it remains to see how this will all be taken. Now that the opposition is gone, what happens? I'm sure there will still be suspicion. The dislike will still be there. Who knows? Maybe some forgiveness. Either way, the issue is out of my hands, let the chips fall where they will. As long as my son gets what he wants.
As you know, I'm on Facebook, so you can catch me there if you want to toss me a note :P
Oh.. and I'm going to try tweeting on a regular basis, so follow me @Artietude .
3 comments:
I'd like to defend myself as to WHY you've been cast as the villain. First of all you had words with your son because you couldn't respect his decisions or his wife. You blatantly told him he was not allowed to defend me when your brother made comments that were uncalled for and you have openly called me the rebound girl. Where do you honestly think this will go. You put your self there and that is where you will stay. I had hoped it wouldn't be that way, but you have never respected me or John's wishes. The topic of our marriage shouldn't have been brought up again. FYI we've been married 5 months and it will be 6 months on the 13th of February. So i think its high time your dropped the subject.
Ps. So now I'm the daughter in law and not the rebound girl?????
Why continuously harass them if they've made up their mind? They're already married, leave them be. What you're doing, and continue to do, is abuse on her mentality. You are not your son, you are who you are. She doesn't need to be labeled as a rebound girl if obviously they were in love enough in the first place to get married.
Act your age and just leave them be. Doesn't matter if others in your family have gone through divorces. No one knows for sure in the long run if their marriage will really last or not. Look at the percentages of divorces over long-term marriages in America alone. That tells you a lot. You need the let them live their lives and decide for themselves. What you're doing is just plain childish. If you continue to pressure your son like this, well then sorry Dad, but you'll be the cause of their break-up, not anything that might have happened between them on their own.
I give them all the best wishes in their years to come.
i think there crazy
Post a Comment