The Daily Bitch

June 28, 1998 Vol. 1 Issue 3

So I go to the store for some groceries like I do at least once or twice a week. I decide that since I don't want to cook, I'll pick something up from the "deli" counter. Now the deli counter covers it all, from sliced meats to subs, wings, and pizza. Pizza sounds good, so I stroll the pizza counter and browse the selections. Now being the impatient (and occasionally not too picky) prick that I am, I ask the "clerk" standing there how much for that (point at a large slice pie with one slice gone) pizza. The clerk counts (literally, by moving his little finger in a circle) and tells me it would be $14 ( 7 slices x 1.99 per). I point out to him that a large only cost $11.50 and that we can simply add a slice from another pie and call it a "whole." This stumps the worker, so I basically reason it out to him that I do not feel like waiting the 15 minutes that it will take him to duplicate his efforts that are on display. Now with my explanation in hand (or in head) he turns and explains the situation to what I assume is the "senior" clerk on the scene. Now the senior clerk comes forward to tell me that "he" cannot do this, because if he did then he would have no slices to sell to the other customers that my want that type of slice while another is baking. So once again I try the reasoning approach by telling him that if the slices were not there, then no one would desire that particular type of slice. Good point, but let's look at from the business end of things, he would rather lose the full $11.50 then lose the possible $14.00 he could make if any of the customers in line behind me wants a slice of this pizza. They both stare at me for a few seconds digesting this lesson until the "less-senior" clerks speaks up stating the obvious "Uh there are no customers behind you." "My point exactly, so now can I have the pizza for $11.50?" I reply. Now he makes the mistake of telling me that I could not possibly know this for sure, since I could not know that there won't be any customers within the 15 minute period that it will take to replace that pizza, but he will more then happily sell me all the remaining slices for $14.00. I'm totally pissed now, I wanted that mouth-watering pizza, but this minimum-wage earning fuck has totally screwed up my dinner over a measly $2.50. So once again I ask why he'll sell me all the slices for that $14 when it will leave him sliceless in the same manner as not selling it to me for $11.50. He tells me that that is the way he is supposed to do it. Ahh now it is perfectly clear, so in my loudest voice possible without actually screaming (which is very loud considering I had an ex-drill sergent for a grandfather) "So what you're saying that it is the policy of SuperMart (name changed of course - but it's a large chain of stores in the Rochester, NY area) to cheat their customers?" They both look at me in shock, and someone calls the manager over, since now I have drawn a small crowd to watch our little verbal repartee'. After the manager confers with the clerks, he gives me the pizza for $11.50 and sends the clerks on their breaks. The manager walks me to the cash register apologizing profusely for the "misunderstanding" and hopes that I will continue my patronage in the future. After much assurance and a handshake I pay and leave the store carrying my 7 slice semi-cold pizza.

In retrospect, I figure this whole exchange took about 15 minutes - If I was to admit defeat I could have had a hot steaming pie, but I guess that would have been letting it go a little to easy. Maybe I have issues that I should get help with? Nahhhh.....fuck 'em!

I’m done for today. Consider yourself "Bitched at."