The Daily Bitch

June 26, 1998 Vol. 1 Issue 2

Terminally happy people piss me off. I mean what is that you are doing that makes you so fucking happy? If it’s a drug then give me some; if it’s some good news, well then share that too. I just want to know what makes a person so fucking jolly they walk around with a glazed look and that sappy smile. They always have something nice to say to you when you bump into them in the hall. WTF is up with that? Maybe the glazed look and frozen expression is an indicator of something. Maybe something like Alzheimer's or some other new brain problem. Senility can be an ugly thing, but would come in handy in getting out of other things. Like I bet you don't ask Grandma Jones to remind you of the big interview you have at 1:00 tomorrow. I'm sure Grammie would like to remember that for you, but her terminal smile lets you know she back reliving one the best times of her past life. All I want is for one time to say what is on my mind as that person walks by and says "Good Morning! How are you doing today?" I have to almost physically repress the urge to just turn and look at this person and say "Eat shit and bark at the moon! It must be nice to be lost in your fucking head! Is there anyone in there today? Any little voices singing to you? I'm doing the same as yesterday only 24 hours later! It's also 7 fucking AM in the morning, do I look like I'm glad to be here?" There is a hell for people like me that holler at mental deficients like this person. Instead I crack a smile and joke right along, "Well my hemorrhoids have been acting up since I got the trots from that Mexican food last night." I know this person will smile in that little way and maybe even giggle a little for me. I know they don't have a clue and they could care less. Oh well, I guess it's just me.

I’m done for today. Consider yourself "Bitched at."

Come back tomorrow for another exciting session of "The Daily Bitch." See you then.