Okay... so today starts a kind of personal log where I want to kind of track what's going on. Of course, being the kind of guy I am, I'll post it out here where my friends and others can see it and give me feedback.
A little background first... My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD. My wife had long suspected it (being a Special Education teacher and having lots of exposure to it) and it usually a genetic issue. During the conversation with the pediatrician we basically determined that there was a pretty good chance that I was the one who brought it to the party.
This really got me thinking about me, my personality, work ethic, and how I interface with the world in general. I did some researching on the internet. Thought about it. Did some more researching. Watched my daughter's reaction to her medication. Thought about it some more. Then I decided to talk to my Doc.
We talked for about 45 minutes, where I learned quite a bit more, such as that ADD and Sleep Apnea can effect people the same way, in fact they can be confused. Huh? What? That really got me thinking because even though I was/am being treated for Apnea, the sleep dr. said I was a very mild case (56 out of 100). I also found out that STRESS can aggravate ADD, which makes sense, although I'd never seen that happen. HA! Anyways, I walked out of his office with a script for Ritalin and here we are.
He recommended (wrote) 20-30mg (2 -3 pills), every 4 hours, not to exceed 9 a day. I'm going with just 20 for the first couple of days. I don't think I'm going to be doing an evening dose. I don't know - still thinking on that.
Day 1 - Morning - I think I'm a little too aware of my own brain right now. I think it's working but I get the oddest feeling that something is missing. I'm doing my normal morning drive, but it feels weird. I guess the only way to describe this is to say that I'm LISTENING to the radio and that's ALL I'm doing. Does that makes sense? I'm not thinking about the band and where they are playing, or the next song, or how blue the LCD is, or how I need to clean the van, etc. etc... When I try to put my finger on it, the only think I can say is, I'm the one clicking the button on the remote.
side effects present: slight headache in the middle of my head. Really wierd, feels like it runs from between my eyes, over the top and down into the base of my skull. Oh - and I was really wicked thirsty this morning. Almost like I had "cottonmouth."
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Okay - due to popular demand I'm going to start this up again. Most of it due to that fact that my friends are slowly scattering to other jobs and I see them so infrequently that it takes up valuable time to update them on how "issues" are.
So, as some of you might know, I've been pretty vocal in my opposition to my son (John) getting married, despite the fact he already got married in a civil ceremony back in August. The "marriage" I'm referring to, is the "church" one that essentially makes it official to my son's future mother-in-law. Essentially now he'll be able to have those "special moments" that a wife and husband should have.
Uh-huh. Right. My vocal opposition has been casting me in a bad light. I've been villified. Made to seem the bad guy and basically looking like an asshole to my daughter-in-law's family. They just can't understand WHY I'm not being supportive to them and just not behind the whole deal. Well... John came straight out and asked me to be supportive, I told him I couldn't. We had words. He's mad at me and we all know how he loves to be the martyr in a situation.
ENOUGH!
I was driving into work this morning, when I had an epiphany. WHY? As in why fight this? He's already married and nothing I can say is going to change that. He's not going to get it annulled. It's ALL out of my power. There is NOTHING I can do. What would happen if I went along with it? That I change my mind and GO WITH FLOW? Instead of beating my head against a wall, I should sit down and let the wall provide me with shade? Replace that aggression with a little passiveness? What's the worst that could possible happen?
However - do not mistake my passiveness for weakness. I still think a mistake has been made. My opinion on that is exactly that. It is mine and I am entitled to have it. I have done my job as a good parent and pointed it out. It is up to my son to live through his own experiences and learn from them. Good and Bad. If asked I will repeat this simple phrase: "Live and Learn."
Now it remains to see how this will all be taken. Now that the opposition is gone, what happens? I'm sure there will still be suspicion. The dislike will still be there. Who knows? Maybe some forgiveness. Either way, the issue is out of my hands, let the chips fall where they will. As long as my son gets what he wants.
As you know, I'm on Facebook, so you can catch me there if you want to toss me a note :P
Oh.. and I'm going to try tweeting on a regular basis, so follow me @Artietude .
So, as some of you might know, I've been pretty vocal in my opposition to my son (John) getting married, despite the fact he already got married in a civil ceremony back in August. The "marriage" I'm referring to, is the "church" one that essentially makes it official to my son's future mother-in-law. Essentially now he'll be able to have those "special moments" that a wife and husband should have.
Uh-huh. Right. My vocal opposition has been casting me in a bad light. I've been villified. Made to seem the bad guy and basically looking like an asshole to my daughter-in-law's family. They just can't understand WHY I'm not being supportive to them and just not behind the whole deal. Well... John came straight out and asked me to be supportive, I told him I couldn't. We had words. He's mad at me and we all know how he loves to be the martyr in a situation.
ENOUGH!
I was driving into work this morning, when I had an epiphany. WHY? As in why fight this? He's already married and nothing I can say is going to change that. He's not going to get it annulled. It's ALL out of my power. There is NOTHING I can do. What would happen if I went along with it? That I change my mind and GO WITH FLOW? Instead of beating my head against a wall, I should sit down and let the wall provide me with shade? Replace that aggression with a little passiveness? What's the worst that could possible happen?
However - do not mistake my passiveness for weakness. I still think a mistake has been made. My opinion on that is exactly that. It is mine and I am entitled to have it. I have done my job as a good parent and pointed it out. It is up to my son to live through his own experiences and learn from them. Good and Bad. If asked I will repeat this simple phrase: "Live and Learn."
Now it remains to see how this will all be taken. Now that the opposition is gone, what happens? I'm sure there will still be suspicion. The dislike will still be there. Who knows? Maybe some forgiveness. Either way, the issue is out of my hands, let the chips fall where they will. As long as my son gets what he wants.
As you know, I'm on Facebook, so you can catch me there if you want to toss me a note :P
Oh.. and I'm going to try tweeting on a regular basis, so follow me @Artietude .
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
An open letter to those who think they know.
For many years, I’ve tried to tell you about what I know, what I’ve seen and what I’ve experienced. Why? Well, much like a professor, I’ve tried to lecture you in some form or another in the hopes that you would learn things from me. At some point in everyone's life, there has to be a cut-off point. That point where you just set back and watch what happens to what you’ve been working on. You hope that it takes off and flies, up, up and away. When the failures happen, you can’t help but feel responsible. Now if that failure is something you’ve seen before, it only makes you feel worse because you knew it could happen, made the appropriate warnings, levied the caution flags, done what you think will bring appropriate attention to the issue.
Let me tell you a little story. It’s one that has a young man, fresh from home, heading out into the big world. Stepping way out of his comfort zone thinking he’s heading into a great adventure and a new life. Yet, there is something tying him to that old life. A girlfriend. Someone who in the last couple of months of their senior year things happened and it appears their relationship has taken a really serious turn. Talk of marriage come up frequently, but this great adventure looms on the horizon, getting closer every day. There are long talks on the phone, long moments of closeness and neither person can think of being without the other. A plan is hatched, he will go off to do his thing, make some seed money and then bring her along. The marriage will be a quiet one, and they will attend college together and things will be great.
Does this story sound familiar?
The time to depart arrives; he leaves and goes north swearing promises the whole time. She starts college and letters and phone calls are frequent. Then life begins to overtake them, and phone calls stop because of schedules, then the letters slow down to almost nothing. During a phone call, they finally realize they have grown apart; they have EXPERIENCED life outside high school and realized there is more out there. They decide to remain friends and write whenever they can.
Okay, now that you have the backstory, let’s talk about what happened to the boy. He met another girl and things got serious, way serious, way too fast. The next thing he knows, he’s a father at 21. Not exactly in the plan and again life changes the path. Now I’m not going to go into further detail, but trust me, it’s more experiences that he finds simply overwhelming.
Time to get to the grist of the matter and make this a little more personal… simply directed at my son and his future fiancé…
Now that “boy” is me. So when I start spouting off about the choices being made, well it’s because I’ve been there.
I’m not sure if anyone has said anything like this before, but as I’ve said, I have nothing against the marriage itself. If you stop and really think about it, are you sure that you are ready for it? If he plans on making the military his life, I can tell you, it’s not a fun life. Until he makes a commissioned rank, there won’t be a stipend for housing, so living on base won’t be happening. Now it could have changed but I don’t think so. As it stands now, what he gets paid is below the poverty line.
“The heart wants what the heart wants.” That little statement can be defined as many things, but once the head gets involved it gets complicated. I think if you two give it a little more time, you’ll find out that the feelings have for each other will change. High school was a microcosm of society, now that both of you are out of there in the world, you’ll see what I mean.
Now with that said – If a wedding happens, I’ll be there, but don’t think I’m going stop lecturing or asking the tough questions. Why? Because the hindsight I have may not necessarily apply to you, but it is still someone with experience talking about it. Believe it or not, I was engaged 3 times before it finally happened, so when it comes to experience, I've got loads.
For many years, I’ve tried to tell you about what I know, what I’ve seen and what I’ve experienced. Why? Well, much like a professor, I’ve tried to lecture you in some form or another in the hopes that you would learn things from me. At some point in everyone's life, there has to be a cut-off point. That point where you just set back and watch what happens to what you’ve been working on. You hope that it takes off and flies, up, up and away. When the failures happen, you can’t help but feel responsible. Now if that failure is something you’ve seen before, it only makes you feel worse because you knew it could happen, made the appropriate warnings, levied the caution flags, done what you think will bring appropriate attention to the issue.
Let me tell you a little story. It’s one that has a young man, fresh from home, heading out into the big world. Stepping way out of his comfort zone thinking he’s heading into a great adventure and a new life. Yet, there is something tying him to that old life. A girlfriend. Someone who in the last couple of months of their senior year things happened and it appears their relationship has taken a really serious turn. Talk of marriage come up frequently, but this great adventure looms on the horizon, getting closer every day. There are long talks on the phone, long moments of closeness and neither person can think of being without the other. A plan is hatched, he will go off to do his thing, make some seed money and then bring her along. The marriage will be a quiet one, and they will attend college together and things will be great.
Does this story sound familiar?
The time to depart arrives; he leaves and goes north swearing promises the whole time. She starts college and letters and phone calls are frequent. Then life begins to overtake them, and phone calls stop because of schedules, then the letters slow down to almost nothing. During a phone call, they finally realize they have grown apart; they have EXPERIENCED life outside high school and realized there is more out there. They decide to remain friends and write whenever they can.
Okay, now that you have the backstory, let’s talk about what happened to the boy. He met another girl and things got serious, way serious, way too fast. The next thing he knows, he’s a father at 21. Not exactly in the plan and again life changes the path. Now I’m not going to go into further detail, but trust me, it’s more experiences that he finds simply overwhelming.
Time to get to the grist of the matter and make this a little more personal… simply directed at my son and his future fiancé…
Now that “boy” is me. So when I start spouting off about the choices being made, well it’s because I’ve been there.
I’m not sure if anyone has said anything like this before, but as I’ve said, I have nothing against the marriage itself. If you stop and really think about it, are you sure that you are ready for it? If he plans on making the military his life, I can tell you, it’s not a fun life. Until he makes a commissioned rank, there won’t be a stipend for housing, so living on base won’t be happening. Now it could have changed but I don’t think so. As it stands now, what he gets paid is below the poverty line.
“The heart wants what the heart wants.” That little statement can be defined as many things, but once the head gets involved it gets complicated. I think if you two give it a little more time, you’ll find out that the feelings have for each other will change. High school was a microcosm of society, now that both of you are out of there in the world, you’ll see what I mean.
Now with that said – If a wedding happens, I’ll be there, but don’t think I’m going stop lecturing or asking the tough questions. Why? Because the hindsight I have may not necessarily apply to you, but it is still someone with experience talking about it. Believe it or not, I was engaged 3 times before it finally happened, so when it comes to experience, I've got loads.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Well boys and girls, it looks like it going to be official now. My last chance at staying with EDS just "poofed" because of some red tape. As of March 7 I'll be an ex-EDSer. Still got a couple more irons in the fire, but waiting is always the hardest part.
On the bright side... PAY ME! Yep, it looks like I get my severance package after all! I'll let you know how that works out.
You know, it's all starting to hit home. That's it... after 11yrs, wave bye-bye and see you! I'm really kind of bummed. Even though I knew it would mean losing my package, part of me was still hoping to stay there at EDS. It's been a love-hate relationship for sure. No, wait, that's wrong.
(EDIT: This will have to wait as I realize what I was about to type could have been construed as slander towards EDS - check back after I signed by paperwork - trust me, it will be worth it)
11 years, it has been a learning experience. I've been part of 2 re-orgs, a group sell-off, and at least been missed by the layoffs 8 times. This job became my career and now my career with this company is over. As one door shuts, another opens. That's my optomistic spirit speaking.
Now if you don't mind.. I'm going to go curl up in my blankets and have a good cry.
Out!
On the bright side... PAY ME! Yep, it looks like I get my severance package after all! I'll let you know how that works out.
You know, it's all starting to hit home. That's it... after 11yrs, wave bye-bye and see you! I'm really kind of bummed. Even though I knew it would mean losing my package, part of me was still hoping to stay there at EDS. It's been a love-hate relationship for sure. No, wait, that's wrong.
(EDIT: This will have to wait as I realize what I was about to type could have been construed as slander towards EDS - check back after I signed by paperwork - trust me, it will be worth it)
11 years, it has been a learning experience. I've been part of 2 re-orgs, a group sell-off, and at least been missed by the layoffs 8 times. This job became my career and now my career with this company is over. As one door shuts, another opens. That's my optomistic spirit speaking.
Now if you don't mind.. I'm going to go curl up in my blankets and have a good cry.
Out!
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